Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
They talked eagerly, with flushed faces and voices which would have been
loud had they not feared to be overheard; both of them carried out of
themselves by the strangely exciting suggestion which had passed from
one to the other almost without words; and they parted with close
pressure of hands and with meaning looks, notwithstanding Miss Susan’s
terribly bad French, which was involved to a degree which I hardly dare
venture to present to the reader; and many readers are aware, by unhappy
experience, what an elderly Englishwoman’s French can be. “Je reviendrai
encore demain,” said Miss Susan. “J’ai beaucoup choses à parler, et vous
dira encore à votre mari. Si vous voulez me parler avant cela, allez à
l’hôtel; je serai toujours dans mon appartement. Il est pas ung plaisir
pour moi de marcher autour la ville, comme quand j’étais jeune. J’aime
rester tranquil; et je reviendrai demain, dans la matin, á votre maison
ici. J’ai beaucoup choses de parler autour.”
Madame Austin did not know what “parler autour” could mean, but she
accepted the puzzle and comprehended the general thread of the meaning.
She returned to her sitting-room downstairs with her head full of a
hundred busy thoughts, and Miss Susan went off to her hotel, with a
headache, caused by a corresponding overflow in her mind. She was in a
great excitement, which indeed could not be quieted by going to the
hotel, but which prompted her to “marcher autour la ville,” trying to
neutralize the undue activity of her brain by movement of body. It is
one of nature’s instinctive ways of wearing out emotion. To do wrong is
a very strange sensation, and it was one which, in any great degree, was
unknown to Miss Susan. She had done wrong, I suppose, often enough
before, but she had long outgrown that sensitive stage of mind and body
which can seriously regard as mortal sins the little peccadilloes of
common life--the momentary failures of temper or rashness of words,
which the tender youthful soul confesses and repents of as great sins.
Temptation had not come near her virtuous and equable life; and, to tell
the truth, she had often felt with a compunction that the confession
she sometimes made in church, of a burden of guilt which was intolerable
to her, and of sins too many to be remembered, was an innocent hypocrisy
on her part. She had taken herself to task often enough for her
inability to feel this deep penitence as she ought; and now a real and
great temptation had come in her way, and Miss Susan did not feel at all
in that state of mind which she would have thought probable. Her first
sensation was that of extreme excitement--a sharp and stinging yet
almost pleasurable sense of energy and force and strong will which could
accomplish miracles: so I suppose the rebel angels must have felt in the
first moment of their sin--intoxicated with the mere sense of it, and of
their own amazing force and boldness who dared to do it, and defy the
Lord of heaven and earth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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