Joan murmured "Um-m-m!" and "How true!" and "Exquisite!" in the right
places; but she was not often listening to him. She was watching the
play of light and shade on his fine, waving hair; she was studying more
keenly than she knew the chiseled features, bearing those slight marks
of manly dissipation which are for some reason never wholly displeasing
to the young feminine eye; she was noticing the smallness of his hands,
the really beautiful cut and quality of his clothes.
What sort of person was he under the agreeable surface, this chosen
husband of hers?
An artist, people had called him: but Art in his case seemed not the
exacting mistress she had fancied it. Or perhaps the artistic
temperament required long periods of recuperative leisure.... She had
decided that it was wiser not to fall in love, at least till after
marriage: but she did choose that her husband should be the sort of
person it was possible to fall in love with; well-bred, fastidious,
cultivated, thoroughly a man of the world. All these Eduard Desmond was,
and more. He had a real and unaffected taste for music, books,
nature--for what Joan called to herself "the real things." It argued
well for future companionship.
There was, to be sure, the disability of what she thought of vaguely as
his "habits." But there had been no sign of them in the two weeks she
had lived in the same house with him; and even if he had not as yet
completely overcome them, there was no reason why he should not do so
later, with a watchful wife to help him. On the whole their chances for
happiness together seemed quite as good as those of most people she
knew, thought Joan, with unconscious cynicism.
The material side of the arrangement did not occur to her. For all her
calm calculations, Joan was not mercenary. All she asked was a place of
her own in the world, a sense of permanence; she longed quite wistfully
for a background that "stayed put." Romance was a thing she felt she
could do without forever, in return for independence from her
step-mother, and perhaps a little home of her own with a garden to it.
She believed that to any man who would provide these few essentials she
could be a faithful and a loyal wife.
What would he expect of her in return? Would she have to go on all her
life being Southern and winsome and alluring? Would he prefer her, after
the honeymoon, say, to go in heavily for sports, like the women of his
set? Or might she presently venture to be just herself again--just Joan,
whatever that might be! The gayest of rôles becomes a trifle wearing for
everyday use.
She sighed; and looking up from the Rubaiyat, he caught her eyes fixed
upon him, wide and speculative.
"What is the little girl thinking of?" he asked tenderly.
She answered at once, with a return of her gay daring, "You--of course!"
But under his intensifying gaze her own dropped, and he went on reading;
in a voice that shook, however.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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