the gun-bursts, a wasp beating up and down the window-pane filled the
room with a spiteful humming.
It was while he stood waiting for the doom he believed to be certain,
while the German captain looked him up and down and addressed curt
unintelligible questions to those who had made him their prisoner—that
there stirred in the breast of William Tully the first faint sense of
nationality. He did not recognize it as such, and it was not to be
expected that he should, since his life for the last few strenuous years
had been largely moulded on the principle that the love of one’s country
was a vice to be combated and sneered at. If you had told him a short
day earlier that the thought of the soil he was born on could move and
thrill and uplift him, he would have stared and despised you as a jingo,
that most foolish and degraded of survivals; yet with his eyes (as he
thought) looking their last on the blazing gold that was sunlight, with
the sword suspended over his trembling head, something that was not only
his pitiful love for Griselda, something that was more than his decent
self-respect, fluttered and stirred within him and called on him to play
the man. It bade him straighten his back before men of an outlandish
race, it bade him refrain from pleading and weakness before those who
were not of his blood; and for the first time for many years he thought
of himself as a national, a man of the English race. Not consciously as
yet and with no definite sense of affection for England or impulse to
stand by her and serve her; but with a vague, unreasoning, natural
longing for home and the narrow things of home. It mattered not that
the England he longed for was small, suburban, crowded and noisily
pretentious; he craved for it in the face of death, as other men crave
for their spacious fenlands or the sweep of their open downs. England
as he knew her called him, not with the noisy call of yesterday, but in
a voice less strident and more tender; he knew now that it was dreadful
to die away from her. Instinctively, thinking on London, he drew
himself up to the height of his five foot five and—as the mayor had done
before him—he lifted his chin in would-be defiance and dignity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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