Booksellers and bookselling -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Poets -- Fiction
All through the afternoon he wandered up and down the crowded pavements
of the great city. In the course of his weary pilgrimage he entered
many shops and offices sickly yet doggedly; sickly yet doggedly he
made the offer of his services. Some of the answers he met with were
not intelligible; some of them were. Yet in spite of every rebuff,
of every conspiracy on the part of fortune, of the increasing sense
of bodily suffering, of the aches that stole over his limbs, of the
faintness that crept over him owing to these long hours of unaccustomed
physical and mental exertion and absence of food, he forced himself to
go on. What were such sufferings, such journeyings, such adventures,
such vicissitude in comparison with the ten long years in which his
beloved Odysseus was banished from the shores of Ithaca! What clay was
this that already it should begin to quail? How those great ones of
old would have mocked him had he dared to confess to them that he felt
distressed!
Yet he did feel distressed. It was almost useless to deny it. As for
the tenth time that afternoon, he was told “To take himself off, and
to look lively about it,” a formula which repetition had enabled him
to recognize, and experience had indicated the only course to pursue,
despair and humiliation, accompanied by terror, that most active of
all his enemies, crept upon him, and as the clocks of the great city
were striking five, tears sprang to his eyes. Almost in the same moment
he had dashed them away, had proudly overcome them. What if the great
Agamemnon could have seen him! How would he be able to meet those
mighty ones, how would he be able to grasp their hands, to look into
their faces, if this was the measure of his courage?
By this time he had come into Cannon Street, hard by to Saint Paul’s.
On the left side of the street, along which he passed, were great
blocks of gloomy warehouses. Flights of stone steps ran up to their
entrances; and as he limped by one of these, involuntarily he sank down
in sheer weariness upon a bottom step. He felt bitterly hungry, yet he
had no means of satisfying his pangs, for there was not a penny in his
pocket; and the only food he had had that day had been a little milk
and bread at eight o’clock that morning. Yet he still fought with all
the resolution of which he was capable against the physical weakness
which now held him so inexorably in its clutch. Again he began to
recite the Iliads under his breath, not now because the joy of battle
was in his veins, but because he sought to derive sustenance from those
high-hearted ones who looked on valour as their right.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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