Within the Maze: A Novel, Vol. 1 (of 2)Wood, Henry, Mrs.
General
Within the Maze: A Novel, Vol. 1 (of 2)
Wood, Henry, Mrs.
English fiction -- 19th century
A word of Miss Blake. That the perfidy--she looked upon it as such--of
Lieutenant Andinnian in regard to herself, was a very bitter blow and
tried her heart nearly as the separation was trying Lucy's, may at
once be admitted. Nothing, in the world or out of it, would have
persuaded her that the young man did not at an early period love her,
that he would have ultimately married her but for the stepping in
between them of Lucy Cleeve: and there lay a very angry and bitter
feeling against Lucy at the bottom of her heart. Not against Mr.
Andinnian. The first shock over, she quite exonerated him, and threw
all the weight of blame on Lucy. Is it not ever so--that woman, in a
case of rivalry such as this, detests and misjudges the woman, and
exempts the man?
But Miss Blake had a very strict conscience. In one of more gentle and
tender nature, this would have been an admirable thing; in her, whose
nature was exceptionally hard, it might cause her to grow into
something undesirably stern. There was a chance for her yet.
Underlying her every thought, word, action, her witty sallies in
the ball-room, her prayers in church, remained ever the one faint
hope--that Karl Andinnian would recover his senses and return to his
first allegiance. If this ever came to pass, and she became Mrs.
Andinnian, the little kindness existing in Theresa Blake's nature
would assert itself. For, though she was very just, or strove to be,
she was not kind.
With this strict conscience, Miss Blake could not encourage her
ill-feeling towards Lucy. On the contrary, she put it resolutely from
her, and strove to go on her way in a duteous course of life and take
up her own sorrow as a kind of appointed cross. All very well, this,
so far as it went: but there was one dreadful want ever making itself
heard--the want to fill the aching void in her lonely heart. After a
disappointment to the affections, all women feel this need; and none
unless they have felt it, can know or imagine the intense need of it.
When the heart has been filled to the uttermost with a beloved object,
every hour of the day gladdened with his sight, every dream of the
night rejoicing with the thought of the morning's renewed meeting, and
he is compulsorily snatched away for ever, the awful blank left is
almost worse than death. Every aim and end and hope in life seems to
have died suddenly out, leaving only a vacuum: a vacuum that tells of
nothing but pain. But for finding some object which the mind can take
up and concentrate itself upon, there are women who could go mad. Miss
Blake found hers in religion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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