"No, Martin," she said, with the quiet emphasis which reveals a
purpose not to be combated, "one thing is settled--there must be
no more separation. I have suffered too much during these last few
weeks ever to listen again to such an arrangement. Now that you
are with us once more, I learn that the ache in my heart was caused
not so much by losses and the prospect of poverty as by loneliness
and the feeling that you were left to struggle by yourself. It's
my place to be with you, and I am willing to live anywhere and in
any way. I can see that I might have aided you in providing against
this evil time, but it seems now that I thought only of what we
wanted for each day as it came, and the trouble was that we all got
just what we wanted. Here is the result. Oh, I've thought it over
through long sleepless nights till my heart ached with a pain that
I hope none of you will ever know. But to sit idly here and wait
while you are trying to retrieve my folly is a greater punishment
than I can endure. Give me something to do which will be of help to
you, and I will do it gladly, even though it be in two attic rooms."
"Mamma's right," added Mildred earnestly. "Papa, you must find a
place for us in New York--a place within our means. Let us begin
life right this time, and I believe God will bless and prosper
us. It won't be many days before Belle and I will find something
to do."
Mr. Jocelyn sighed more deeply than ever, and, indeed, appeared
so overcome for a few moments that he could not speak. At last
he faltered, "I have all of a Southern man's pride, and it's more
bitter than death to me that my wife and daughters must work for
their bread."
"Papa," exclaimed Mildred, "would it not be infinitely more bitter
to us all to eat the bread of charity? I shall pretend to no unnatural
heroism, nor say I like toil and poverty. On the contrary, I think
I shrink from such things more than most girls do. But I don't
propose to sit down and wring my hands. I can put them to a better
use. We must just put away all talk of pride and sentiment, and
remember only our poverty and self-respect. As Christian and sensible
people we are bound to accept of our life and make the best of it.
You and mother both know how much this change has cost me," she
concluded, with a few half-stifled sobs, "and if I am willing to
enter on a cheerful, patient effort to make the best of life as it
is, I think all the rest might, too. If we give way to despondency
we are lost. Let us be together again, and pull together as one."
"The idea of Nan and the children coming back to the city in August!"
said Mr. Jocelyn dejectedly. "You don't either of you realize what
you are talking about. We should have to go into a tenement-house."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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