Yorksher Puddin': A Collection of the Most Popular Dialect Stories from the Pen of John HartleyHartley, John
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Yorksher Puddin': A Collection of the Most Popular Dialect Stories from the Pen of John Hartley
Hartley, John
English language -- Dialects -- England -- Yorkshire; Yorkshire (England) -- Fiction
"Nay," said Michael, "tha doesn't understand what he meeans, he doesn't
meean wars, he meeans 'at things will ha to be turned raand. Nah my
dowter tells me 'at th' world's in a revolution allus, that is, it keeps
turnin raand ov its own axle tree throo morn to neet an' niver stops."
"A'a Michael,' said Simon, 'aw think thy dowter is tryin to cram thi a
bit; nah did ta iver catch th' world th' wrang side up, for aw niver
did, an' aw've lived a year or two?"
"Well, awm net able to argify it, all aw know is 'at awm tell'd soa. But
to come back to th' old point, abaat this Schooil Booard, and technical
eddication? nah what do yo call technical eddication? Come, aat wi' it
some o' yo 'at reckon to be soa weel up."
"Wel," said Dick, "technical eddication is, aw suppooas, summat 'at fowk
leearns to do 'em some gooid, an' if aw understand it reight, it's
summat 'at fowk leearns withaat ony books or owt o' that sooart."
"Nay," said Simon, "tha'rt wrang this time,--if aw understand it,
technical eddication meeans leearnin th' names o' things sich as stars
an' plants an' joints o' mait, an' iverything o' that sooart; isn't that
it, Michael?"
"Aw dooant think it is, aw think Dick's nearer th' mark nor thee, for aw
believe it's as he says, yo leearn it withaat ony books; in fact it's
that sooart o' eddication at fowk have 'at niver went to th' schooil,
it's a sooart o' common sense view o' things,--a sooart o' beein able to
invent a way to do owt yo want ommost. Nah, aw'll gie yo a sample o'
what aw call technical eddication. My gronfayther wor booath deeaf an'
dumb an' laim, aw can just recollect him, tho he deed when aw wor a lad;
he wor born deeaf an' dumb but he wornt born laim, that happened after
he gate to be a man. Well, he niver went to th' schooil, but yet he wor
one o' th' mooast genius chaps 'at iver yo met i' yor life; he'd a way
ov his own o' dooin iverything. Aw've heeard mi fayther tell 'at when he
wor a lad, ther wor a family o' five on 'em, an' they all worked at th'
factory, an' as lads will, they sometimes stopt aat soa lat ov a neet
'at they fan it varry hard wark to get up next mornin; an' they had to
be up at five o'clock 'coss they'd a long way to walk. Nah, mi
gronfayther could nawther get up nor call aat, but ha do yo think he
managed to get' 'em aat o' bed? He used to allus keep abaat a barro
looad o' brokken bricks at his bedside, an' th' lads used to know as
sooin as they felt 'em flyin abaat ther heeads 'at it wor time to be
stirrin: one used to be enuff in a general way, but th' second wor sure
to do it, even if he wor a hard sleeper, an' if th' third didn't wakken
him, yo could book him for a tombstooan ony minit. Nah that's what aw
call technical eddication."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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