Yorksher Puddin': A Collection of the Most Popular Dialect Stories from the Pen of John HartleyHartley, John
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Yorksher Puddin': A Collection of the Most Popular Dialect Stories from the Pen of John Hartley
Hartley, John
English language -- Dialects -- England -- Yorkshire; Yorkshire (England) -- Fiction
"Oh, isnt ther?--varry gooid,--aw know 'at my dowter spells it wi' a K
an' shoo's a pupil taicher, soa shoo owt to know," said Michael.
"Thy dowter be blowed! tha wants to ram thy dowter daan ivery body's
throit."
"Do aw?--Awd be looath to ram her daan thy throit anyway, tho it wodnt
be sich a varry hard job, for thi maath's ommost big enuff."
"If its ony bigger accordingly nor thy nooas awl be smoored; but tha con
tak th' Schooil Board an thi dowter too for what aw care, an' mich gooid
may shoo do thi, for awl niver be under a cheerman at spells Michael wi'
a K.
"Nah chaps," said Dick Dardust, "dont yo fratch."
"Simon does reight to fratch," said another, "Michael has noa business
allus to be draggin in his dowter if shoo is a schooil mistress. My
wife's sister-i'-law had a hont 'at wor a schooil mistress, an' aw
dooant keep reapin it up."
As each of them had had their pints replenished a number of times during
the discussion, the old saying that "when drink's in wit is out," began
to be illustrated; and there was such an uproar in the place that the
landlord was compelled to send for some policemen to assist him in
turning them out, and when they had gone he muttered to himself, as he
picked up the broken pints, "Schooil Booards! its time they'd summat.
What do they want wi' Schooil Booards? Aw niver went to th' schooil an'
luk at me! why aw could sup a 18 gallon to mi own cheek an net mak soa
mich bother."
Whilst all this had been going on, a few of the quiet and unassuming
people of the village had met at the school room for the purpose of
considering the same subject. The clergyman was in the chair, and as
might be expected, the business was carried on in a very different
manner, and they decided to hold a public meeting, and give all an
opportunity to express their opinions. Judge the dismay of the pot house
Solomons, when they saw the village placarded with announcements on
which the words "School Board," were in very large letters. They at once
set about raising some opposition, for they felt themselves aggrieved.
Michael and Simon o'th' Lee happened to meet as they were going to work.
"Nah Simon, tha sees what a mess thy stupid wark's getten us into. If
tha hadn't sed ther wornt a K i' technical it ud niver ha' come to
this."
"If tha hadn't sed 'at ther wor a K i' Michael it would niver ha
happened, an' ther isnt a K i' technical."
"Well, happen net, but ther is a K i' Michael, becoss my dowter says--"
"Thy dowter's a fooil! shoo taks after her faither!" said Simon, as he
walked away.
"Ha ha, ha! Well shoo hasnt lived to thy age withaat leearnin to know at
ther's a K i' Michael," he shouted after him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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