You no longer count (Tu n'es plus rien!)Boylesve, René
General
You no longer count (Tu n'es plus rien!)
Boylesve, René
World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
As she went about among her friends Odette perceived that she was
regarded in Paris as one of the women who during the war was sacrificing
herself for the public good. One must have a "war" reputation at all
costs. No one said a word as to her conduct as a widow, or as to her
moral ideas. But because she had been absent and was known to have been
for a long time a hospital nurse, every one ascribed to her that spirit
of self-abnegation which gives reason to expect all things from certain
exceptional persons, born for sublimities. The compliments that she
received were not ironical. Her profound and unalterable grief for her
husband's death, the very discretion which she observed in making no
lamentation before her friends, were not lost upon them. Odette, sad and
silent, enjoyed what might be called "a good press." The praises
bestowed upon her simply transformed into extraordinary virtue what was
only natural to her. At first she found it stupid; then it disturbed
her.
"But what am I, after all?" she would ask.
"You are an exquisite woman! Your conduct is admirable!"
And every one present would acquiesce. It was in a drawing-room which
might have been supposed to be the seat of the War Committee, where were
young women, women on the further verge of youth, poetesses, princesses;
through which passed generals, convalescent heroes, ministers, men of
all shades of politics, literary celebrities, and the sad relics of
before-the-war æstheticism. The secrets of military operations were
known there, whether carried out or simply planned, the underside of
diplomacy, future declarations of war, historic nights, scandals unknown
to the public. News was handed about, discredited, misconstrued, torn to
pieces. An apparition from another world, like Odette, felt herself
facing all Europe in arms, or some world-congress; rising from the
modest tomb in which she had been living she was dazzled, her head was
turned with it all. She rose to return to her solitude.
On the staircase she met La Villaumer, his smile scornful at the thought
of the foolishness which he was about to hear.
"What do they expect of me?" she asked. "Imagine, there are those
up-stairs who were ready to swear that I, all by myself, directed the
battle of the Somme!"
"Not at all," he replied. "It is simply that you are a very worthy
woman; you honor the house."
"All very well! But they frighten me. They seem to be expecting
something of me----"
"That you will do the house still greater honor! Receptions of this sort
would fain be taken as pictures of the country, in the small."
"Tell me about yourself, La Villaumer; how much truth is there in what
they tell me--that you are going to distribute all your property and
live in a garret?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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