The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — David Hume — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
But should it prove a real ghost,
Who, with a _Fool's-cap_, takes his _Post_,
To grasp the _Crown_ we've fairly got,
We warn him he shall go to _Pot_,
And in the Red Sea soon be _laid_;
Or to his _warm_ berth posted back,
Where he'll be _hotpress'd_ in a crack,
Unless his exit's quickly made;
For none but nincompoops and fools
Let "dead men push them from their stools."
(Signed) RIGDUM FUNNIDOS.
┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────┬──────────────────┐
│ JANUARY. │ [1836.│
├─────────────┬────────────────────────────────────┴──────────────────┤
│ │"Kind Reader!" (as old Francis always said,) │
│ │Beware of counterfeits, for Frank is dead; │
│ │Some Quack survives—_physician_—if he will, │
│ │To swallow, of _our physic_, many a pill. │
│ │We'll spread the caustic 'midst the town's applause, │
│ │And thank the public that the blister _draws_. │
├──┬──────────┼────────────────────────────────────┬──────────────────┤
│ M│ Season's │ =Odd Matters.= │ WEATHER. │
│ D│ Signs. │ │ │
├──┼──────────┼────────────────────────────────────┼──────────────────┤
│ 1│When it │ │ │
│ │ │ │ My │
│ 2│freezes │ "HARD FROST." │ │
│ │ │ │ profound │
│ 3│and │The day is clear, the frost is │ │
│ │ │ hard,— │ │
│ │ │ I very much incline, │ │
│ 4│blows │As I'm a _dab_, to have a _skate_ │ △ ⚹ ☉ │
│ │ │ Upon the SERPENTINE. │ │
│ 5│take │ │ │
│ │ │There's Mr. Tait,—he cuts an eight; │prognostifications│
│ 6│care of │ He cannot cut a nine; │ │
│ │ │And I could cut as good a _figure_ │ │
│ 7│your │ On the SERPENTINE. │ of the │
│ │ │ │ │
│ 8│nose │I _hate_ the _eight_ of Mr. Tait, │ │
│ │ │ For he's no friend of mine; │ weather │
│ 9│that it │He used me once so ungenteely │ │
│ │ │ On the SERPENTINE. │ │
│10│doesn't │ │ │