The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities — David Hume — John Shaqi
The Comic Almanack, Volume 2: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
David Hume · en
May it please your ludships, Edward Thomson owns
Two small estates—one let on lease to Jones.
To admit the eldest son I hold is fair—
[Usher, I wish you would let in the air.]
It was the intention of the first testator—
[Who's stopped the working of that ventilator?]
I've searched the books, and it is there laid down.
On the authority of Smith _v._ Brown,
That legatees may reasonably enter—
[Open that other window in the centre.]
It is decided in the Term reports,
And 'tis, in fact, allowed in all the courts,
That vested interests go with the land—
[This heat is really more than I can stand.]
We cannot shut our eyes, if so inclined—
[The sun's too dazzling, pray pull down that blind.]
I warmly urge the infant ought to take it—
[That square of glass wont open; Usher, break it.]
The tenant's liable for all repairs—
[We may all melt, for what that Usher cares.]
The mortgagee's demand must end in smoke—
[I'm positively roasting.] _vide_ Coke;
The rights of justice still I must maintain,
See Carrington—[Pray, Usher, break that Payne.]
I trust your ludships will not yet determine,
While 'neath the weight of your judicial ermine,
Your judgment 'twere impossible to school;
Your ludships can't, I'm sure, just now, be cool:
To ask you to decide were simple mummery,
For in the dog-days justice is too summery.
OCCUPATIONS OF THE PEOPLE.
The returns under this head are extremely interesting, and some curious
calculations may be made from them. It appears that there is, in England
and Wales, about one lawyer to four lunatics; thus giving him a chance
of at least a couple of clients. The tables are, however, very
incomplete; for we find no account of the number of omnibus cads, who
are lumped under the head of "other educated persons." We presume that
convicts come home from transportation are included among persons
returned as independent.
RULES FOR MEDICAL STUDENTS WALKING
THE STREETS.