John Marsh's Millions — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
John Marsh's Millions
John Stuart Mill · en
Eagerly he scanned her delicate and sensitive face, trying to read there
some response that would satisfy his longing, but her manner was grave
and her voice perfectly calm and passionless, as she answered kindly:
"I had no idea that you thought of me in that way. I am sorry, Mr.
Ricaby. I have regarded you as a life-long friend--nothing more. I can
never forget what you have done for me. I shall always be grateful for
your friendship and untiring devotion. That I can never repay."
Chilled, the lawyer drew back instinctively. There was no mistaking that
indifferent, matter-of-fact tone. Bitterly he said:
"Yes, I understand. I have always felt that. I have inspired you with
feelings of kindliness, gratitude, friendship. But love? No. That you
reserve for some more fortunate man."
"Don't say that, Mr. Ricaby," she replied gently. "There is no other
man, I assure you. I would not hurt your feelings for the world, but you
know we can't always control these things ourselves. I admire you
immensely--I respect you more than any man I know."
Eagerly he darted forward and took her hand.
"Do you give me hope?" he murmured.
She turned away her head as she answered:
"Don't let us speak of this now. You can understand that in this present
moment of great anxiety I hardly know what I am doing or saying. I can
never forget what I owe you. Any woman should be proud to be your wife."
The lawyer shook his head.
"A woman who really loves does not stop to reason. You might be willing
to repay what I've done for you by making me happy, but that is not what
I ask. What I have done for you is nothing. It is not such a debt that
you should sacrifice your whole life in repaying it. If there can be no
other consideration than that, I prefer that our relations should remain
as they are." Suddenly turning on her, he demanded:
"Are you sure there is no other?"
The girl shook her head.
"No," she said positively. "There is no other."
"Then I'll hope against hope," he said hoarsely, "and until your suit is
settled I promise you not to mention the subject again."
Going to the table he took his hat and gloves. Then coming back to where
she was, he held out his hand:
"Good-bye," he said. "I am going now to Albany. It is a trip that I
can't put off any longer. I can't stop to explain what the business is,
but it is important and concerns your case. Of course, my every movement
is watched, and while I am away they may try to take advantage of my
absence by annoying you in some way, so you'd better keep in the house.
Bolt yourself in and decline to see anyone, no matter who it is. Above
all, don't have anything to do with Mr. Chase. Instinctively I distrust
that man."