Lancaster's Choice — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Lancaster's Choice
John Stuart Mill · en
"What, with my heart and soul full of another woman?" he said,
bitterly. "No, I can not do that much injustice to beautiful Lady
Adela. I respect her too much."
Go where he would, do what he might, the face he loved was ever before
his fancy. As the time drew near for her departure to America a strange
longing took possession of him. He yearned to see the living face of
the girl once more, before the wild waves of the blue Atlantic divided
them forever as widely as if she were in her grave and he in his. He
had no longer any bitterness or anger toward her in his heart since he
had learned of that sweet sorrow hidden in her young breast--a sorrow
akin to his own.
"I should like to see the man who was so cold and hard that he could
not love her," he said to himself. "He must be a stock or a stone
indeed. Poor little Leonora! I will go down to Lancaster and bid her
good-bye and god-speed on her homeward way. There can be no harm in
that. I must see her once more, or I shall go mad with longing for her
sweet, fair face and her soft voice."
So in the first heat of sweltering July he went down to Lancaster Park,
intent on sating his restless pain with one last look at the beloved
face.
CHAPTER XXXIX.
He thought himself very fortunate that when he crossed the grounds of
Lancaster and entered the house, no one saw him. It was just what he
wished.
He went straight to the housekeeper's room, and he found Mrs. West
sitting alone in the little sitting-room, going over her account-book
with a pen and ink. She rose in some perturbation at the unexpected
sight of the master of Lancaster Park.
"I did not know you were in the house, my lord," she said.
"I have just entered it," he replied. "Do not let me disturb you, Mrs.
West. I came to see your niece."
"Leonora?" she said, with some surprise. "Oh, dear! I am very sorry,
but she is not here;" and she wondered at the sudden paleness that
overspread his face.
"Not here?" he stammered. "Is she gone, then? I thought--I understood
that you would go with her to America."
"Oh, yes, so I shall," she answered; "but she is not gone there yet. I
did not mean that. She will be here this evening."
"Where is she now?" he asked, eagerly, and Mrs. West replied:
"She has gone over to the Abbey ruins to make a sketch this morning."
"Thank you," he said, and hurried out of the room with such
precipitancy that the good soul stared after him in amazement and
consternation.
"Dear me! what has that poor child done now?" she thought, nervously.
"It is a pity she ever came to Lancaster Park. She has but a sorry time
of it here. I almost wish she had accepted Lieutenant De Vere. It would
have been such a grand match for her, and she is too bright and pretty
to remain in my station of life. I wonder what Lord Lancaster can want
with her. Is he going to scold her for anything she has done?"