The Stronger Influence — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Stronger Influence
John Stuart Mill · en
She watched him descend to the quay, and, leaning on the rail, looking
down at him, the first intimation that things were not quite as they
should be dawned on her, and filled her with a sense of uneasiness which
grew with every hour of her separation from him.
In the end she curtailed her visit and returned unexpectedly by train.
She had sent a telegram informing Hallam when to expect her; and she
found him on the platform waiting for her, and was struck immediately by
the change in him. Her heart sank within her, but she forced a smile to
her lips and accompanied him out of the station and got into the waiting
taxi. He opened the door for her, fumbling with the catch with unsteady
fingers, and got in after her and sat down heavily.
"It didn't take you long to discover that home's the best place," he
remarked, with a sideways furtive look at her. "How did you find them
all? Jim still grousing, I suppose? And the small boy a perennial note
of interrogation?"
"Everything was much the same," she answered in a dispirited voice.
"They were all a little older in appearance, and the children have grown
tremendously. I wish you had been with me. Rose was hurt, I think,
because you did not go."
"Oh, really! I should have thought she would have felt relieved."
"Why?"
He disregarded the question. Abruptly he put out an unsteady hand and
laid it upon hers.
"Tired?" he asked.
"A little." She twisted her hand round in her lap and her fingers
closed upon his. "What have you been doing during my absence?"
"Mainly missing you," he answered. "A reversion to one's bachelor days
is a dull sort of holiday."
"I know. But what was I to do? I don't want to lose touch altogether
with my ain folk."
"I have no folk," he said, "so I can't understand these family ties. I
think them a bore. But if you had a good time that's the chief thing.
You've a lot of friends at the Bay, and you find pleasure in them. My
friends are silent companions and are better suited to my taste. How
did your people think you were looking? None the worse for being tied
to this dull person, I hope?"
She laughed and squeezed his hand.
"They were impressed with my staid appearance, and the fact that I am
putting on weight," she said. "I didn't realise it myself until Jim
told me I was getting fat."
"That is a Jim-like touch," he returned, and glanced at her cursorily.
"The grossness is not apparent to me. Did you meet Sinclair during your
stay?"
"Yes," she said, and looked surprised that he should ask the question.
That he had once been jealous of Sinclair was unknown to her.
"And does he still wear the willow for your sake?"
"He isn't married," she answered. "But I don't think that has anything
to do with me."