"I Shall have to Change Yer!" In the Ypres Salient in July 1915 Headquarters were anxious to know which German regiment was facing us. An immense Cockney corporal, who was particularly good on patrol, was instructed to secure a prisoner. [Illustration: "I shall have to take yer aht to-night and change yer."] After a night spent in No Man's Land he returned at dawn with a capture, an insignificant little German, trembling with fear, who stood about five foot nothing. Lifting him on to the fire-step and eyeing him critically, the corporal thus addressed him: "You won't do for our ole man; I shall have to take yer aht to-night and change yer!"--_S. Back, Merriams Farm, Leeds, near Maidstone._ Scots Reveille Ours was the only kilted battalion in the division, and our bagpipes were often the subject of many humorous remarks from the other regiments. [Illustration: "There goes them perishin' 'toobs' agin."] On one occasion, while we were out resting just behind the line at Château de la Haye, we were billeted opposite a London regiment. Very early in the morning the bagpipes would sound the Scottish reveille--a rather long affair compared with the usual bugle call--and it did not please our London friends to be awakened in this manner. One morning while I was on early duty, and just as the pipers were passing, a very dismal face looked out of a billet and announced to his pals inside, "There goes them perishin' 'toobs' again."--_Arthur R. Blampied, D.C.M. (late London Scottish), 47 Lyndhurst Avenue, Streatham Hill, S.W.2._ In the Negative A battalion of the London Regiment had been having a particularly gruelling time in the trenches, but some of the men were cheered with thoughts of impending leave. In fact, permission for them to proceed home was expected at any moment. At this time the Germans started a "big push" in another sector, and all leave was suddenly cancelled. An N.C.O. broke the news to the poor unfortunates in the following manner: "All you blokes wot's going on leaf, ain't going on leaf, 'cause you're unlucky." In spite of the great disappointment, this way of putting it amused even the men concerned. The real Cockney spirit!--_S. C., Brighton._ "An' That's All that 'Appened" Before going up the line we were stationed at Etaples, and were rather proud of our cook-house, but one day the colonel told the sergeant-major that he had heard some of the most unparliamentary language he had ever heard in his life emanating from the cook-house. The sergeant-major immediately called at the cook-house to find out the cause of the trouble, but our Cockney cook was very indignant. "What, _me_ Lord Mayor? [slang for 'swear']. No one's ever 'eard me Lord Mayor." "Don't lie to me," roared the sergeant-major. "What's happened here?"