When we went into action, a shell penetrated our funnel, and a splinter caught my breech worker in the shoulder. After we had ceased fire we carried him below on a stretcher. Looking at the funnel, he said, "Blimey, Tom, 'appy 'Ampstead and three shies a penny. All you knock down you 'ave." Later I went to see him in Zanzibar Hospital, and told him he had been awarded the D.S.M. He seemed more interested to know if the German had got his coco-nut than in his own award.--_T. Spring (late Chief Gunner's Mate, R.N.), 26 Maidenstone Hill, Greenwich, S.E.10._ "Any more for the 'Skylark'?" Passing through the Mediterranean in 1916, the P. & O. liner _Arabia_, returning from the East with a full complement of passengers, was torpedoed. I was in charge of a number of naval ratings returning to England, who, of course, helped to get the boats away. While some of my boys were getting out one of the port boats a woman passenger, who had on a Gieves waistcoat, rushed up, holding the air tube in front of her, and shouting hysterically, "Oh, blow it up somebody, will somebody please blow it up?" A hefty seaman with a couple of blasts had the waistcoat inflated, and as he screwed up the cap said, "Look 'ere, miss, if yer 'oller like that Fritzy will 'ear yer and he _will_ be angry. 'Ere you are, miss, boat all ready; 'op in." Then, turning round to the waiting passengers, he said, "Come on, any more for the 'Skylark'?"--_F. M. Simon (Commander, R.N., retd.), 99 Lower Northdown Road, Margate._ Still High and Dry Whilst patrolling on an exceptionally dark night, the order being "No lights showing," we had the misfortune to come into collision with a torpedo boat. Owing to the darkness and suddenness of the collision we could not discover the extent of the damage, so the officer of the watch made a "round," accompanied by the duty petty officer. Upon reaching a hatchway leading down to the stokers' mess deck, he called down: "Is there any water coming in down there?" In answer a Cockney stoker, who was one of a number in their hammocks, was heard to reply: "I don't fink so; it ain't reached my 'ammock yet."--_J. Norton (late Ldg. Stoker, R.N.), 24 Lochaline Street, Hammersmith, W.6._ Trunkey Turk's Sarcasm We were serving in a destroyer (H.M.S. _Stour_) in 1915, steaming up and down the East Coast. As we passed the different coastguard stations the bunting-tosser had to signal each station for news. One station, in particular, always had more to tell than the others. One day this station signalled that a merchant ship had been torpedoed and that German submarines were near the coast. My Cockney chum--we called him Trunkey Turk because of his big nose--asked the bunting-tosser for his news as he was coming down from the bridge, and when he was told, said, "Why didn't you ask them if they saw a tin of salmon in their tot of rum to-day?"--_J. Tucknott, 2 Wisbeach Road, West Croydon._ Running Down the Market