"It's orl right, sir! If it don't go off while yer counts five--_you'll know it's a dud!_"--_Capt. T. W. C. Curd (late 20th Northumberland Fusiliers), 72 Victoria Street, S.W.1._ Help from Hindenburg I was serving with the M.G.C. at Ecoust. Two men of the Middlesex Regiment had been busy for a week digging a sump hole in the exposed hollow in front of the village and had excavated to a depth of about eight feet. A bombardment which had continued all night became so severe about noon of the next day that orders were given for all to take what cover was available. It was noticed that the two men were still calmly at work in the hole, and I was sent to warn them to take shelter. They climbed out, and as we ran over the hundred yards which separated us from the trench a high explosive shell landed right in the hole we had just left, converting it into a huge crater. One of the men turned to me and said, "Lumme, mate, if old Hindenburg ain't been and gone and finished the blooming job for us!"--_J. S. F., Barnet, Herts._ Raised his Voice--And the Dust In the early part of 1917, while the Germans were falling back to the Hindenburg line on the Somme, trench warfare was replaced by advanced outposts for the time being. Rations were taken up to the company headquarters on mules. [Illustration: "S'sh. For 'eaven's sake be quiet."] Another C.Q.M.S. and I were going up with mules one night and lost our way. We wandered on until a voice from a shell-hole challenged us. _We had passed the company headquarters and landed among the advanced outposts._ The chap implored us to be quiet, and just as we turned back one of the mules chose to give the Germans a sample of his vocal abilities. The outpost fellow told us what he thought of us. The transport chap leading the mule pulled and tugged, using kind, gentle words as drivers do. And in the midst of it all my C.Q.M.S. friend walked up to the mule, holding his hands up, and whispered: "S-sh! For 'eaven's sake be quiet."--_F. W. Piper (ex-Sherwood Foresters), 30 The Crescent, Watford, Herts._ Mademoiselle from--Palestine After the fall of Gaza our battalion, on occupying a Jewish colony in the coastal sector which had just been evacuated by the Turks, received a great ovation from the overjoyed inhabitants. [Illustration: "Mademoiselle from Ah-my-Tears."] One of our lads, born well within hearing of Bow Bells, was effusively greeted by a Hebrew lady of uncertain age, who warmly embraced him and kissed him on each cheek. Freeing himself, and gesticulating in the approved manner, he turned to us and said: "Strike me pink! Mademoiselle from Ah-my-tears."--_Edward Powell, 80 Cavendish Road, Kentish Town, N.W._ "Ally Toot Sweet" At the latter end of September 1914 the 5th Division was moving from the Aisne to La Bassée and a halt was made in the region of Crépy-en-Valois, where a large enemy shell was found (dud). [Illustration: "Ally toot sweet. If this shell goes orf...."]