she could possibly undergo such an ordeal. She pictured to herself
Ilfracombe’s stern face as he listened to the unfolding of a tale so
dissonant to his own feelings, so unlike all he had conceived of her,
so dreadful to hear of the woman of whom he thought so highly, who he
had chosen for his wife before all others. Nora shuddered when she
thought thus, and told herself that it could not be. She valued his
good opinion and his affection too highly. But there was another side
of the question. Without telling Lord Ilfracombe, her own part in the
matter, how could she convince him of the treachery of Jack Portland
towards them both; how induce him to break off, once and for ever,
the dangerous intimacy which united them. Her husband might refuse
to believe her mere word, as he had refused before. He was a loyal
friend, and a generous man. He would not judge anyone on the unproved
testimony of another person. Without the proof which those letters
conveyed, would she have any more influence with him than she had
had before, when he pooh-poohed her warnings as the idle fears of a
well-meaning but ignorant woman? And had she the courage for the sake
of them both, and especially for the sake of the husband whom she was
beginning to love far better than she did herself, to brave the verdict
of Ilfracombe’s displeasure, and tell him the whole truth? Nell had
been courageous for both their sakes. From a worldly point of view
she had no particular reason to care for the earl’s interests, still
less for those of the wife who had supplanted her; yet she had braved
being called a thief, and any other hard name Mr Portland might have
thought fit in his rage to cast at her, in order to do good to those
who had in a measure wronged her. Nell was worth a thousand of Nora,
so the wife of Ilfracombe said inwardly as she dwelt on these things.
And musing after this fashion she reached the Hall, not much happier
than she had left it. It was true that she had regained possession
of the letters which had made a nightmare of her married life, but
they had not brought the peace with them which she had imagined they
would. She was out of a certain danger, but she was still _herself_,
that was what Nora thought, still, a wife who had deceived her trusting
husband, and would not be cleansed in her own eyes till she had made a
full confession of her sin. It was contemplating the divine forgiveness
which Nell had extended to them both, the single-heartedness which she
displayed, the patience and humility with which she bore her own sad
lot, which was influencing Lady Ilfracombe almost unconsciously to
imitate her as far as lay in her power.
Her indecision, combined with the promptings of the good angel within
her, to do what was right, made Nora _distraite_ and melancholy during
the period of dressing for dinner, and when Lord Ilfracombe joined her
he chaffed her on the bad effects of botanising with Jack.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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