"Tell me the whole story," she said. "This you have promised to do, and
you have made me eager to hear it. Remember how little I have been told.
I do not even know your name."
With the full gaze of her sorrowful eyes upon the elder woman's face,
she said quietly:
"My name is Christine."
There was an infinite proud calm in her voice, and in the same tone she
went on:
"I bore throughout my childhood and my young girl days another name that
seems in no sense to belong to me now. That child and girl, Christine
Verrone, is not in any way myself. It seems only a sweet memory of a
dear young creature, nearer akin to the birds, and the winds, and the
flowers than to me. I cannot feel I ought to take her name, and pass
myself for her. For three years I bore another name, but it is one my
very lips refuse to utter now, and I never had a right to it. The one
name that I feel is really mine is just Christine--the name that was
given to the little baby, on whose forehead the sign of the cross was
made soon after she came into this sad world, to taste of its most awful
sorrow and to grow into the woman that I am. I have always loved it,
because, in sound, it seemed to bring me near to Christ--the dear Christ
who has never forsaken me since I have borne His sign, who has been
through all my loving, dear Brother, knowing and understanding all and
grieving that I had to suffer so. He is with me still. He will stay with
me if I have to give up earthly love and all that can make life happy. I
know He has let it all happen to me, and that it must be for my good. I
know I am as pure in His eyes as when I was that little baby, baptized
in His name, bearing the humanity He bore. You may decide my earthly
happiness as you choose. I am not comfortless. I know now the extent of
His perfect power to comfort, since I find that He can support me
through the supreme trial of giving up the man I love. It is in our
darkest hour He comes closest," she said, as if in a sort of ecstasy.
"He is here right with me now, strengthening and blessing me. I can feel
His hands on my head. They actually press and touch me."
The fervor of her voice, the exaltation of her look, and the extreme
realism of the words she used were indescribably awing and agitating to
her companion, to whom such evidences in connection with religious
feeling were utterly unprecedented. She saw that the source of this deep
emotion was utter despair of earthly happiness, as, in truth, it was.
From the moment that Christine had noted the change in her companion,
which had followed her partial confession, she felt that her doom was
sealed, and it was under the influence of this conviction that she had
spoken. She felt anxious now to finish the interview and get away, that
she might look her sorrow in the face, without the feeling of strange
eyes upon her, and that she might gather strength for her parting with
the man she loved.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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