"The dead-house they reach'd, where his lordship they found, Pale, stretch'd on a plank, like themselves out of breath, The coroner and jury were seated around, Most gravely enquiring the cause of his death. No haste did they seem in, their task to complete, Aware that from hurry mistakes often rise; Or wishful, perhaps, of prolonging the treat Of thus sitting in judgment upon my Lord 'Size. "Now the Mansion House butler, thus gravely deposed:-- 'My lord on the terrace seem'd studying his charge And when (as I thought) he had got it compos'd, He went down the stairs and examined the barge; First the stem he surveyed, then inspected the stern, Then handled the tiller, and looked mighty wise; But he made a false step when about to return, And souse in the river straight tumbled Lord 'Size.' "'Now his narrative ended, the butler retir'd, Whilst Betty Watt, muttering half drunk through her teeth, Declar'd 'in her breast great consarn it inspir'd, That my lord should sae cullishly come by his death;' Next a keelman was called on, Bold Airchy by name, Who the book as he kissed showed the whites of his eyes, Then he cut an odd caper attention to claim, And this evidence gave them respecting Lord 'Size;-- "Aw was settin' the keel, wi' Dick Slavers an' Matt, An' the Mansion House stairs we were just alongside, When we a' three see'd somethin', but didn't ken what, That was splashin' and labberin', aboot i' the tide. 'It's a fluiker,' ki Dick; 'No,' ki Matt, 'its owre big, It luik'd mair like a skyet when aw furst seed it rise;' Kiv aw--for aw'd getten a gliff o' the wig-- 'Ods marcy! wey, marrows, becrike, it's Lord 'Size. "'Sae aw huik'd him, an' haul'd him suin into the keel, An' o' top o' the huddock aw rowl'd him aboot; An' his belly aw rubb'd, an' aw skelp'd his back weel, But the water he'd druck'n it wadn't run oot; So aw brought him ashore here, an' doctor's, in vain, Furst this way, then that, to recover him tries; For ye see there he's lyin' as deed as a stane, An' that's a' aw can tell ye aboot my Lord 'Size.' "Now the jury for close consultation retir'd: Some '_Death Accidental_' were willing to find; 'God's Visitation' most eager requir'd; And some were for 'Fell in the River' inclin'd; But ere on their verdict they all were agreed, My Lord gave a groan, and wide opened his eyes; Then the coach and the trumpeters came with great speed, And back to the Mansion House carried Lord 'Size."