gaol distemper, and would protect the assembly in the body of the court from the contagion of the disease. CHAPTER XLIV. LAWYERS AND SAINTS. Notwithstanding the close connexion which in old times existed between the Church and the Law, popular sentiment holds to the opinion that the ways of lawyers are far removed from the ways of holiness, and that the difficulties encountered by wealthy travellers on the road to heaven are far greater with rich lawyers than with any other class of rich men. An old proverb teaches that wearers of the long robe never reach paradise _per saltum_, but 'by slow degrees;' and an irreverent ballad supports the vulgar belief that the only attorney to be found on the celestial rolls gained admittance to the blissful abode more by artifice than desert. The ribald broadside runs in the following style:--- "Professions will abuse each other; The priests won't call the lawyer brother; While _Salkeld_ still beknaves the parson, And says he cants to keep the farce on. Yet will I readily suppose They are not truly bitter foes, But only have their pleasant jokes, And banter, just like other folks. And thus, for so they quiz the law, Once on a time th' Attorney Flaw, A man to tell you, as the fact is, Of vast chicane, of course of practice; (But what profession can we trace Where none will not the corps disgrace? Seduced, perhaps, by roguish client, Who tempt him to become more pliant), A notice had to quit the world, And from his desk at once was hurled. Observe, I pray, the plain narration: 'Twas in a hot and long vacation, When time he had but no assistance. Tho' great from courts of law the distance, To reach the court of truth and justice (Where I confess my only trust is); Though here below the special pleader Shows talents worthy of a leader, Yet his own fame he must support, Be sometimes witty with the court Or word the passion of a jury By tender strains, or full of fury; Misleads them all, tho' twelve apostles, While with the new law the judge he jostles, And makes them all give up their powers To speeches of at least three hours-- But we have left our little man, And wandered from our purpos'd plan: 'Tis said (without ill-natured leaven) "If ever lawyers get to heaven, It surely is by slow degrees" (Perhaps 'tis slow they take their fees). The case, then, now I fairly state: Flaw reached at last to heaven's high gate; Quite short he rapped, none did it neater; The gate was opened by St. Peter, Who looked astonished when he saw, All black, the little man of law; But charity was Peter's guide. For having once himself denied His master, he would not o'erpass The penitent of any class; Yet never having heard there entered A lawyer, nay, nor ever ventured Within the realms of peace and love, He told him mildly to remove,