Dreiser, Theodore, 1871-1945; Journalists -- United States -- Biography; Novelists, American -- 20th century -- Biography
I bowed heavily for I felt as though I were turning to stone. The
prettiness and sparkle of these girls all chatting and laughing had
fairly done for me. I followed the professor as one marches to the
gallows and he began at one end of the car and introduced me to one girl
after another as though it were a state affair of some kind. I felt like
a boob. I was flustered and yet delighted by his geniality and the fact
that he was helping me over a very ticklish situation. I envied him his
case and self-possession. He soon betook himself elsewhere, leaving me
to converse as best I might with a pretty black-haired Irish girl whose
eyes made me wish to be agreeable. And now, idiot, I struggled
desperately for bright things to say. How did one entertain a pretty
girl, anyhow? The girl came to my rescue by commenting on the nature of
the contest and the difficulties she had had. She hadn’t thought she
would win at all. Some others joined in, and before I knew it the train
was out of the station and on its way. The porter was closing the
windows for the long tunnel, the girls were sinking into comfortable
attitudes, and there was a general air of relaxation and good nature.
Before East St. Louis was reached a general conversation was in
progress, and by the time the train was a half-hour out a party of
familiars had gathered in the little bridal chamber, which was at the
rear of the car, laughing and gesticulating. But I was not of it, nor
was the girl with whom I was chatting.
“Why don’t you come back here, Myra?” called a voice.
“Having lots of fun up there?” called another.
“Do come back, for goodness’ sake! Don’t try to monopolize one whole
man.”
I felt my legs going from under me. Could this be true? Must I now go
back there and try to face six or seven? Stumblingly I followed Myra,
and at the door stopped and looked in. It was full of pretty girls, my
partner of the moment before now chattering lightly among them. “I’m
gone,” I thought. “It’s all off. Now for the grand collapse and silence!
Which way shall I turn? To whom?”
“There’s room for one more here,” said a Juney blonde, making a place
for me.
I could not refuse this challenge. “I’m the one,” I said weakly, and
sank heavily beside her. She looked at me encouragingly, as did the
others, and at a vast expense of energy and will power I managed to
achieve a smile. It was pathetic.
“Isn’t train-riding just glorious?” exclaimed one of these bright-faced
imps exuberantly. “I bet I haven’t been on a train twice before in all
my life, and just look at me! I do it all right, don’t I? I’d just love
to travel. I wish I could travel all the time.”
“Oh, don’t you, though!” echoed the girl who was sitting beside me and
whom up to now I had scarcely noticed. “Do you think she looks so nice
riding?”
I cannot recall what I answered. It may have been witty—if so it was an
accident.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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