Kind friends in front, you here behold a figure allegorical: Excuse me if at times I pause and for my paregoric call. I want to tell you all about this story Anglo-Corsican, And do the best in spite of cough and voice that's rather hoarse I can. Old Father Time I am, you guess; 't is I who rule the universe, And cause the changes which I sing in this the poet's punny verse! So while the scene is changing, here I sing this song preparative, To help you, as a chorus should, to understand the narrative. Ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho! As chorus to this tragedy, to act my painful doom it is. In spite of cough, sciatica, lumbago, and the rheumatiz. The little boys who in the wood the robins saved from perishing Are two young men for one young girl a hopeless passion cherishing. In Corsica with his mamma young Fabien dei Franchi is; The other one in Paris lives, and growing rather cranky is. [Illustration: G. R. SIMS.] Sweet Rosie Posie followed them. The ma of these phenomena As lady-help accepted her for foiling the abomina-Ble plans the wicked uncle laid the brothers to assassinate, And Rosie still in Corsica contrives all hearts to fascinate. To Paris went the uncle, too, to let coiffeurs their talent try, And now he is an agèd buck and famous for his gallantry. He's bought a wig, and paints his face--three times a day he'll carmine it, He asks young wives to opera balls, and swears there's little harm in it. In the second act Meynard brings a friend with him to Corsica, and thus presents him to Mme. dei Franchi:-- A friend of mine who's come this trip with me, The customs of the country for to see. The customs, when he landed, landed him-- He's _cust 'em_ rather, I can tell you, mim! _Friend._ 'Tain't pleasant when a chap on pleasure's bent To find the call of duty cent. per cent. _Mad._ You're welcome, sir, although our customs seize you: A triple welcome, and I hope the _trip'll_ please you. Previous to the first entry of Louis' ghost, Fabien says:-- I feel so strange, I know poor Loo is seedy; I dreamt I saw his ghost all pale and bleedy. I'll write him. Where's the ink? Lor, how I shudder! (_Looks about for ink_) I'm on the ink-quest now--poor absent brudder. The ink!--the quill! Ah! this, I think, will do. (_Sits and writes_) "Louis, old cock, how wags the world with you?" (_Music--he shudders_) I feel as if a ghost were at my elbow handy. This _goes to_ prove I want a drop of brandy. Of the other puns in the piece the following are perhaps fair specimens. At the _bal masqué_, Louis, meeting Emilie de Lesparre, says:-- Why are you here? _Emilie._ I came because I'm asked (_puts on mask_). _Louis._ This is no place for you to cut a shine; 'Tain't _womanly_. _Emilie._ I know it's masky-line. Again:--