A Budget of Paradoxes, Volume IDe Morgan, Augustus
Philosophy
A Budget of Paradoxes, Volume I
De Morgan, Augustus
Circle-squaring; Perpetual motion; Science -- Miscellanea; Trisection of angle
The FOCAL BODY said he was sorry to break the continuity of the
proceedings, but he thought that remarks upon character, with a negative
sign, would introduce {304} differences of too high an order. The
honourable luminary must eliminate the expression which he had brought out,
in finite terms, and use smaller inequalities in future. (Hear, hear.)
PALLAS explained, that he was far from meaning to reflect upon the orbital
character of any planet present. He only meant to protest against being
judged by any laws but those of gravitation, and the differential calculus:
he thought it most unjust that astronomers should prevent the small planets
from being observed, and then reproach them with the imperfections of the
tables, which were the result of their own narrow-minded policy. (Cheers.)
SATURN thought that, as an old planet, he had not been treated with due
respect. (Hear, from his satellites.) He had long foretold the wreck of the
system from the friends of innovation. Why, he might ask, were his
satellites to be excluded, when small planets, trumpery comets, which could
not keep their mean distances (cries of oh! oh!), double stars, with
graphical approximations, and such obscure riff-raff of the heavens (great
uproar) found room enough. So help him Arithmetic, nothing could come of
it, but a stoppage of all revolution. His hon. friend in the focus might
smile, for he would be a gainer by such an event; but as for him (Saturn),
he had something to lose, and hon. luminaries well knew that, whatever they
might think _under_ an atmosphere, _above_ it continual revolution was the
only way of preventing perpetual anarchy. As to the hon. luminary who had
risen before him, he was not surprised at his remarks, for he had
invariably observed that he and his colleagues allowed themselves _too much
latitude_. The stability of the system required that they should be brought
down, and he, for one, would exert all his powers of attraction to
accomplish that end. If other bodies would cordially unite with him,
particularly his noble friend next him, than whom no luminary possessed
greater weight--
JUPITER rose to order. He conceived his noble friend {305} had no right to
allude to him in that manner, and was much surprised at his proposal,
considering the matters which remained in dispute between them. In the
present state of affairs, he would take care never to be in conjunction
with his hon. neighbour one moment longer than he could help. (Cries of
"Order, order, no long inequalities," during which he sat down.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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