A Budget of Paradoxes, Volume IIDe Morgan, Augustus
Philosophy
A Budget of Paradoxes, Volume II
De Morgan, Augustus
Circle-squaring; Perpetual motion; Science -- Miscellanea; Trisection of angle
Smith may solve it. But I protest against
his method of assuming a result, and making itself prove itself: he might
in this way, as sure as eggs is eggs (a corruption of X is X), make me
1,864 years old, which is a great deal too much.
{125}
_April 5, 1864._--Mr. Smith continues to write me long letters, to which he
hints that I am to answer. In his last, of 31 closely written sides of
note-paper, he informs me, with reference to my obstinate silence, that
though I think myself and am thought by others to be a mathematical
Goliath, I have resolved to play the mathematical snail, and keep within my
shell. A mathematical _snail_! This cannot be the thing so called which
regulates the striking of a clock; for it would mean that I am to make Mr.
Smith sound the true time of day, which I would by no means undertake upon
a clock that gains 19 seconds odd in every hour by false quadrature. But he
ventures to tell me that pebbles from the sling of simple truth and common
sense will ultimately crack my shell, and put me _hors de combat_.[220] The
confusion of images is amusing: Goliath turning himself into a snail to
avoid [pi] = 3-1/8, and James Smith, Esq., of the Mersey Dock Board: and
put _hors de combat_--which should have been _cache_[221]--by pebbles from
a sling. If Goliath had crept into a snail-shell, David would have cracked
the Philistine with his foot. There is something like modesty in the
implication that the crack-shell pebble has not yet taken effect; it might
have been thought that the slinger would by this time have been singing--
"And thrice [and one-eighth] I routed all my foes,
And thrice [and one-eighth] I slew the slain."
But he promises to give the public his nut-cracker if I do not, before the
Budget is concluded, "unravel" the paradox, which is the
mathematico-geometrical nut he has given me to crack. Mr. Smith is a crack
man: he will crack his own nut; he will crack my shell; in the mean time he
cracks himself up. Heaven send he do not crack himself into lateral
contiguity with himself.
On June 27 I received a letter, in the handwriting of Mr. James Smith,
signed Nauticus. I have ascertained {126} that one of the letters to the
_Athenaeum_ signed Nauticus is in the same handwriting. I make a few
extracts:
"... The important question at issue has been treated by a brace of
mathematical birds with too much levity. It may be said, however, that
sarcasm and ridicule sometimes succeed, where reason fails.... Such a
course is not well suited to a discussion.... For this reason I shall for
the future [this implies there has been a past, so that Nauticus is not
before me for the first time] endeavor to confine myself to dry reasoning
from incontrovertible premises.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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