A Captain in the Ranks: A Romance of AffairsEggleston, George Cary
General
A Captain in the Ranks: A Romance of Affairs
Eggleston, George Cary
Fiction
Duncan looked her full in the face for a space before speaking. Then he
said:
"And yet you say you have no gift to help me--that if you were my wife
you would be a drag upon me! Oh, Barbara, you cannot know how greatly I
need the strength that the sympathy and counsel of such a woman as you
are must give to the man who loves and wins her. You have in this hour
rescued me from despondency; you have made me strong again; you have
shown me my duty, and inspired me with resolution to do it manfully."
"I am very glad," she answered.
"Then promise me that you will stand by my side always. Let me give you
the right to help. Say that you will be my wife!"
His voice was full of tender pleading and for a moment the girl
hesitated. Finally she said:
"I think I know how to answer now, but you mustn't interrupt. I feel as
though I couldn't stand much this evening."
"I will not interrupt. I am too eager to hear."
"I think I have a plan--for you and me. I still think what I thought
before--when I said 'no.' I still think you ought to have some better
woman for your wife, some woman more nearly your equal, some woman who
could help you to win a great place for yourself in the world and could
herself fill the place of a great man's wife with dignity. You ought to
marry a woman who knows, oh, ever so much that I shall never know--a
woman that you need never be ashamed to introduce as your wife. No,
don't interrupt!" she exclaimed, seeing that he was on the point of
doing so. "I know what you would say, and that is the only thing that
makes me doubt my own conviction about these matters. It seems to me a
wonderful thing that such a man as you should care for such a woman as I
am, but the fact that you do care for me almost makes me think sometimes
that maybe after all I misjudge myself, and that you are right. It
seems so hard to believe you wrong. Now, I must be perfectly frank,
because I know no other way of saying what I must. I have confessed that
I love you. You compelled me to do that. If I were sure of my capacity
to make you happy, not just for a little while, but throughout all your
life, I would say 'yes' to the questions you have asked. But I mustn't
make any mistake that might spoil your life, and so I must not say 'yes'
just now, at least, and you will not let me say 'no.' I am still very
young, as you know. You, too, are young enough to wait. So I think we'll
leave both the 'yes' and the 'no' unsaid for a long time to come--for a
year, perhaps--long enough, at any rate, for both of us to find out
which of us is right. During that time we must be the very best of
friends. You must tell me everything that concerns you, so that I may
practice helping you, and find out whether I can really do it or not. If
you find that I can't you shall be perfectly free to go away from me. If
I find that I can't, then I'll say 'no' and stick to it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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