"I--I--don't see--I--I--don't know--" stammered Russell.
"Arrah, sure to glory, it's as aisy as wink. Begin where ye are."
"What, here?" cried Russell, aghast.
"Yis."
"Undress here?"
"Av coorse."
"But--but--mayn't I have a private room?"
"But ye mayn't, for ye moight consale somethin'. Ye've got to ondress
before the examinin' committee--that's me. Sometimes it's done in the
presence av a committee av the whole--that's the whole regiment av
us; but this time, out av jue respect for you an' considherations av
decarrum, I've farrumed a committee av one."
"But what other clothes may I put on?" asked Russell, ruefully.
"Sure an' I've got a fine shuit for ye."
"I don't see any."
"Oh, they're handy enough to here: they're in the next room, quite
convaynient, an' I'll let ye have thim afther ye get these off."
Russell stood still in deep gloom and despondency. All his finest
feelings were outraged beyond description at this proposal. The
chief, however, sat calm and smiling, as though quite unconscious of
any evil intent.
"Come," said he, "hurry up!"
There was no help for it. He was clearly in this man's power. It was
a dreadful thought; yet he had to obey.
So he took off his cravat. This he did slowly and solemnly, as though
preparing to bare his neck for the axe of the executioner.
"Come, make haste," said the chief. "I've only got a few minutes to
spare; an' if ye can't change yer clothes before me alone, why, I'll
have to go off, an' thin ye'll have half a dozen av thim up here at
ye."
"And must I?" moaned the unhappy man.
"Av coorse," said the chief. "An' what is it all? Sure it's nothin'
at all at all, so it isn't."
Russell gave a heavy sigh, and then taking off his coat he laid it on
the floor. Then he cast an appealing glance at the chief, who,
however, only responded with an impatient gesture. Thereupon Russell
took off his waistcoat. Another appealing glance was then thrown at
the chief, who only responded by a gesture more impatient than
before.
"Come," said he, "be quick! Ye see, ye may have no end av val'able
dockymints stitched in between the lining av yer clothes--I've often
knowed that same. Begorra, we get more in that way that we find
stitched in the clothes, than we do from the wallets an' the opin
conthributions."
"But I haven't anything stitched between my clothes."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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