At first, after so many shocks, in spite of the bad food, the chaplain's pantaloons, the lack of liberty, in spite of all the fierce exploitation that I could plainly see, I felt a sense of real relief amid this calm and silence. I did not reason much; I felt rather a need of prayer. Remorse over my past conduct, or, rather, the weariness resulting from it, prompted me to fervent repentance. Several times in succession I confessed to the chaplain. He was a queer man, this chaplain, very round and red, a little rude in manner and in speech, and afflicted with a disagreeable body-smell. He asked me strange questions, and insisted on knowing my favorite authors. "Armand Silvestre? Yes. To be sure, he is dirty. I would not give you his works instead of the 'Imitation.' No, not that; yet he is not dangerous. But you must not read impious books, books against religion,--Voltaire, for instance. No, never; never read Voltaire,--that is a mortal sin,--or Renan, or Anatole France. They are dangerous." "And Paul Bourget, Father?" "Paul Bourget! He is entering on the right path; that I do not deny. But his Catholicism is not sincere,--not yet; at least, it is much mixed. Your Paul Bourget makes upon me the impression of a wash-basin,--yes, that is it,--of a wash-basin, in which no matter what has been washed, and in which olives from Calvary are swimming amid hair and soapsuds. You should wait a little before reading him! Huysmans! Well, he is a little stiff in his expressions,--yes, indeed, very stiff,--but he is orthodox." And he said to me further: "Yes ... Ah! you do mad things with your body! That is not good. No, indeed, that is always bad. But, sin for sin, it is better to sin with your masters, when they are pious persons, than with people of your own condition. It is less serious, less irritating to the good God. And perhaps these people have dispensations. Many have dispensations." As I named M. Xavier and his father, he cried: "No names. I do not ask you for names. Never tell me names. I do not belong to the police. Besides, those are rich and respectable people whom you have just named,--extremely religious people. Consequently you are wrong; you are rebellious against morality and against society."