Among the girls who came daily to Mme. Paulhat-Durand's I had
noticed one especially, in the first place because she wore a
Breton cap, and then because the very sight of her filled me with
unconquerable melancholy. A peasant girl astray in Paris, in this
frightful, jostling, feverish Paris,--I know nothing more lamentable.
Involuntarily it invites me to a survey of my own past, and moves me
infinitely. Where is she going? Where does she come from? Why did she
leave her home? What madness, what tragedy, what tempest has pushed her
forth, and stranded her, a sorrowful waif, in this roaring human sea?
These questions I asked myself every day, as I examined this poor girl
sitting in her corner, so frightfully isolated.
She was ugly with that definitive ugliness which excludes all idea of
pity and makes people ferocious, because it is really an offence to
them. However disgraced she may be by nature, a woman rarely reaches
the point of total and absolute ugliness, utter degeneracy from the
human estate. Generally she has something, no matter what,--eyes, a
mouth, an undulation of the body, a bending of the hips, or less than
that, a movement of the arms, a coupling of the wrist, a freshness of
skin, upon which others may rest their eyes without being offended.
Even in the very old a certain grace almost always survives the
deformations of the body, the death of sex, and the seamy flesh betrays
some souvenir of what they formerly were. The Breton had nothing of
the kind, and she was very young. Little, long-waisted, angular, with
flat hips, and legs so short that it seemed as if she really called
to mind those barbarian virgins, those snub-nosed saints, shapeless
blocks of granite that have been leaning for centuries, in loneliness,
on the inclined arms of Armorican Calvaries. And her face? Ah! the
unfortunate! An overhanging brow; pupils so dim in outline that they
seemed to have been rubbed with a rag; a horrible nose, flat at the
start, gashed with a furrow down the middle, and suddenly turning up
at its tip, and opening into two black, round, deep, enormous holes,
fringed with stiff hair. And over all this a gray and scaly skin,--the
skin of a dead adder, a skin that, in the light, looked as if it had
been sprinkled with flour. Yet the unspeakable creature had one beauty
that many beautiful women would have envied,--her hair, magnificent,
heavy, thick hair, of a resplendent red reflecting gold and purple.
But, far from being a palliation of her ugliness, this hair only
aggravated it, making it more striking, fulgurating, irreparable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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