With bloodshot eye, foaming mouth, and clenched and threatening fist,
she advanced toward Monsieur. And such was her rage that the words came
from her mouth in a sort of hoarse belching.
"Wretch!" she roared again. "And it is you who dare to speak to me in
this way,--you? Oh! but it is unheard of. When I picked him up in the
mud, this poverty-stricken fine gentleman, covered with dirty debts,
posted at his club,--when I saved him from the mire, he was not so
proud! Your name, I suppose? Your title? Oh! clean they were, indeed,
this name and title, on which the usurers were unwilling to advance
you another hundred sous. You can take them back, and welcome. And he
talks of his nobility, of his ancestors, this Monsieur whom I have
bought and whom I support! Well, the nobility will have nothing more
from me,--not that! And, as for your ancestors, you scoundrel, you can
try to hang them up. You will see whether you can borrow even ten sous
on their ugly mugs,--mugs of veterans and valets. Nothing more, do you
hear? Never, never! Back to your gaming-tables, trickster! Back to your
prostitutes, pimp!"
She was frightful. Monsieur, timid, trembling, with cowardly back and
humiliated eye, retired before this flood of filth. He reached the
door, noticed me, and fled, and Madame again cried after him, in the
passage-way, in a voice which had become more hoarse and horrible:
"Pimp! Dirty pimp!"
And she sank upon her long chair, overcome by a terrible nervous
attack, which I finally quieted by making her inhale an entire flask of
ether.
Then Madame began again the reading of her love stories and the
rearrangement of her drawers. Monsieur was more absorbed than ever in
the complexities of solitaire and in the revision of his collection of
pipes. And the correspondence began again. Timid and widely-spaced at
first, it was soon going on fast and furiously. I became utterly tired
out with running from the room of one to the room of the other, bearing
heart-shaped or hen-shaped threats. But oh! what fun I had!
Three days after this scene, while reading a missive from Monsieur,
on pink paper and bearing his coat of arms, Madame turned pale, and
suddenly asked me, in a gasping voice:
"Célestine, do you really think that Monsieur wants to kill himself?
Have you seen him with weapons in his hands? My God! If he were to kill
himself?"
I burst out laughing in Madame's face. And this laugh, which had
escaped me in spite of myself, increased, let itself loose, poured
itself out. I thought I should die, choked by this laugh, strangled by
this cursed laugh that rose, like a tempest, in my breast, and filled
my throat with irrepressible hiccups.
For a moment Madame sat aghast.
"What is it? What is the matter with you? Why do you laugh like that?
Be still, then. Will you be still, nasty creature?"
But the laugh held me fast; it would not let go. At last, between two
gasps, I cried:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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