for a turkey, or when he takes the countess's dogs out for an airing,
he is the object of universal curiosity and respect; so are the dogs,
for that matter. That is why, in view of a celebrity which cannot
fail to spread from the neighborhood over Paris, and from Paris over
France, he has become a subscriber to a clipping-bureau, just as the
countess has done. He will send me the smartest things that are written
about him. This is all that he can do for me, for I must understand
that he has no time to attend to my affairs. He will see, later,--"when
we shall be in power," he writes me, carelessly. Everything that
happens to me is my fault; I have never known how to conduct myself;
there has never been any sequence in my ideas; I have wasted the best
places, without profit. If I had not been such a hot-head, I, too,
perhaps, would be on the best terms with General Mercier, Coppée,
Déroulède; and perhaps, although I am only a woman, I should see my
name sparkling in the columns of the "Gaulois," which is so encouraging
for all sorts of domesticity. Etc., etc.
To read this letter almost made me cry, for I felt that Monsieur Jean
is quite gone from me, and that I can no longer count on him,--on him
or on anybody! He does not tell me a word of my successor. Ah! I see
her from here, I see them from here, both of them, in the chamber
that I know so well, kissing and caressing each other, and making the
round of the public balls and the theatres together, as we used to do
so prettily. I see him, in his putty-colored overcoat, returning from
the races, after having lost his money, and saying to her, as so many
times he has said to me: "Lend me your jewels and your watch, that I
may hang them up." Unless his new _role_ of participant in political
manifestations and of royalist conspirator has filled him with new
ambitions, and he has abandoned the loves of the servants' hall for the
loves of the _salon_. He will come back to them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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