_Direct._ XXII. Keep not strange to those from whom you differ, but be acquainted with them, and placidly hear what they have to say for themselves: or else converse with them in christian love in all those duties in which you are agreed, and this (if you never talk of your differences) will do much to reconcile you in all the rest.[171] It is the common way of division, uncharitableness, yea, and cruelty at last, to receive hard reports of those that differ from us behind their backs, and to believe and aggravate all, and proceed to detraction and contention at a distance, and in the dark, and never be familiarly acquainted with them at all. There is something in the apprehension of places, and persons, and things, by the eye-sight, which no reports are able to match: and so there is that satisfaction about men by familiar acquaintance, which we cannot attain by hearsay from any, how judicious soever. All factions commonly converse together, and seek no familiar converse with others, but believe them to be any thing that is naught, and then report them to be so, before they ever knew the persons of whom they speak. I am persuaded this is one of the greatest feeders of enmity, uncharitableness, contention, and slanders in the world. I speak it upon great observation and experience, I have seldom heard any man bitterly oppose the servants of Christ, but either grossly wicked, or those that never had much acquaintance with them; and I see commonly, how bitter soever men were before, when once they converse together, and grow acquainted, they are more reconciled. The reason is, partly because they find less evil and more good in one another than before they did believe to be in them; and partly because uncharitableness and malice, being an ugly monster, is bolder at a distance, but ashamed of itself before your face: and therefore the pens of the champions of malice are usually more bitter than their tongues when they speak to you face to face. Of all the furious adversaries that have raged against me in the latter part of my life, I remember not one enemy that I have, or ever had, that was ever familiar or acquainted with me; and I have myself heard ill reports of many, which by personal acquaintance I have found to be all false. Keep together, and either silence your differences, or gently debate them; yea, rather chide it out, then withdraw asunder. Familiarity feedeth love and unity. _Direct._ XXIII. Whenever you look at any corruption in the church, look also at the contrary extreme, and see and avoid the danger of one as well as of the other. Be sure every error and church corruption hath its extreme, and if you do not see it, and the danger of it, you are the liker to run into it. Look well on both sides if you would be safe.