I am in some pain for the Event of this _Scheme_, hoping the _Wicked_ will find it too Grave, and fearing the _Godly_ will scarce venture beyond the Title-Page: And should they, _even_, I know they’ll object, ’tis here and there interwoven with too ludicrous Expressions, not considering that a dry Argument has occasion for the larding of Gaiety to make it the better relish and go down. Besides, finding by the exact Account tack’d to that most edifying _Anti-Heidegger_ Discourse,[6] that eighty six Thousand Offenders have been lately punish’d, and that four hundred Thousand religious Books have been distributed about _Gratis_ (not to mention the numberless Three-penny Jobs daily publish’d to no Ends, or Purpose, but the _Author_’s;) I say, finding all these Measures have been taken, and that Lewdness still so much prevails, I thought it highly proper to try this Experiment, being fully convinc’d that opposite Methods often take place. Own, _Preferment-Hunter_! when sailing on with the Tide avails nothing, does not tacking about steer you sometimes into that snug Harbour, an Employment? Speak _Hibernian Stallion_! when a meek fawning Adoration turns to no Account, does not a pert assuming Arrogance frequently forward, nay, gain the critical Minute? And say, [7] _Mesobin!_ where a Purge fails, is not a Vomit an infallible _Recipe_ for a Looseness? [6] The Bp. of _L----n_’s Sermon against Masquerades. [7] An able Member of the College of Physicians. To conclude; when my Arguments are impartially examin’d, I doubt not but my Readers will join with me, that as long as it is the Nature of Man (and _Naturam expellas furca licet usque recurret_) to have a Salt _Itch_ in the Breeches, the _Brimstone_ under the Petticoat will be a necessary Remedy to _lay_ it; and let him be ever so sly in the Application, it will still be found out: What avails it then to affect to conceal that which cannot be concealed, and that which if carried on openly and above-board, would become only less detrimental, and of consequence more justifiable? Be the Success of this Treatise as it happens, the Good of Mankind is my only Aim; nor am I less hearty or zealous in the Publick Welfare of my Country, than that Noble Pattern of Sincerity, Bishop _B----t_, who finishes his Preface with the following Paragraph. _And now, O my G--, the G-- of my Life, and of all my Mercies, I offer this Work to Thee, to whose Honour it is chiefly intended; that thereby I may awaken the World to just Reflections on their own Errors and Follies, and call on them to acknowledge thy Providence, to adore it, and ever to depend on it._ [Illustration] A _Modest Defence, &c._