English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600
_What thing is love? for sure I am it is a thing,
It is a prick, it is a thing, it is a prettie, prettie thing;
It is a fire, it is a cole, whose flame creeps in at every hoale;
And as my wits do best devise
Loves dwelling is in Ladies eies_.
_Haunce_. O rare wench!
_Cor_. Faire Prince, thy picture is not here imprest
With such perfection as within my brest.
_Mar_. Soft, maister Doctor.
_Doct_. _Cornelia_, by garr dis paltry marshan be too bolde, is too
sawcie by garr. Foole, holde off hand, foole; let de Doctor speake.
_Han_. Now my brave wooers, how they strive for a Jewes Trump.
_Doct_. Madam, me love you; me desire to marry you. Me pray you not
to say no.
_Cor_. Maister Doctor, I think you do not love me;
I am sure you shall not marry me,
And (in good sadnes) I must needs say no.
_Mar_. What say you to this, maister Doctor. Mistresse, let me speake.
That I do love you I dare not say, least I should offend you; that I
would marry you I had rather you should conceive then I should utter:
and I do live or die upon your _Monasi[la]ble_, I or no.
_Doct_. By gar if you will see de _Marshan_ hang himselfe, say no:
a good shasse by garr.
_Han_. A filthy French jest as I am a Dutch gentleman.
_Mar_. Mistresse, Ile bring you from _Arabia_,
_Turckie_, and _India_, where the Sunne doth rise,
Miraculous Jemmes, rare stuffes of pretious worke,
To beautifie you more then all the paintings
Of women with their coullour-fading cheekes.
_Doct_. You bring stuffe for her? you bring pudding. Me vit one, two,
tree pence more den de price buy it from dee and her too by garr: by
garr dow sella' dy fader for two pence more. Madam, me gieve you
restoratife; me give you tings (but toush you) make you faire; me gieve
you tings make you strong; me make you live six, seaven, tree hundra
yeere: you no point so, Marshan. Marshan run from you two, tree, foure
yere together: who shall kisse you dan? Who shall embrace you dan? Who
shall toush your fine hand? ô shall, ô sweete, by garr.
_Mar_. Indeed, M. Doctor, your commodities are rare; a guard of Urinals
in the morning; a plaguie fellow at midnight; a fustie Potticarie ever
at hand with his fustian drugges, attending your pispot worship.
_Doct_. By garr, skurvy marshan, me beat dee starck dead, and make dee
live againe for sav'a de law.
_Han_. A plaguie marshan by gar, make the doctor angre.
_Doct_. Now, madam, by my trot you be very faire.
_Cor_. You mock me, M. Doct, I know the contrary.
_Doct_. Know? what you know? You no see your selfe, by garr me see you;
me speake vatt me see; you no point speake so:
_Han_. Peace, Doctor, I vise you. Do not court in my maisters hearing,
you were best.
_Enter Flores_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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