Gentles of both sexes and all sortes, I am sent to bid yee welcome; I am but instead of a Prologue, for a she-prologue[219] is as rare as an Usurers Almes, _non reperitur in usu_; and the rather I come woman because men are apt to take kindelye any kinde thing at a womans hand; and wee poore foules are but too kinde if wee be kindely intreated, marry otherwise, there I make my _Aposiopesis_. The Author hath indeede made me an honest merrye wench one of his humorists, yet I am so much beholding to him, I cannot get mee a husband in his play that's worthe the having, unlesse I be better halfe of the sutor my selfe; and having imposed this audacity on me, he sends me hither first for exercise. I come among ye all, these are the Contentes: that you would heare with patience, judge with lenity, and correct with smiles; for the which our endeavour[220] shall shew it selfe, like a tall fellow in action; if we shall joyne hands, a bargaine. As a lowely earnest, I give this curtesie before, And in conceite I give ye twenty more. [ACT THE FIRST. _Scene_ 1.] _Enter Accutus and Graccus_. _Gra_. Nay but, _Accutus_, prethee what mis-shapen vizard of Melancholly hast thou mask't thy selfe in? Thou lookst as thou wer't changing thy religion; what? is there a breach in thy Faith? come declare, and let me set thy [my?] wits on worke to amend it. _Acut_. Ha, ha, ha! _Gra_. Prettie; a man's well advisd to offer good counsell, and be laught at for his labour: we shall shortly have no counsellors, but Physitians; I spend my breath to thee, and thou answerest me some half an houre after in a sem[i]breve, or like to a Sexton, with a Sobeit or Amen. _Acu_. Condemn my Stars then! _Grac_. I should wrong am then, as thou dost with a false inditment. I know it took not beeing at thy birth: thou hast been merrie, thou hast sounded hoopes, swallowed whiffes, walkt late, worn favours, seene whoresons; thou canst feele and understand, come thou hast bene a sinner, unloade, discharge, untune, confesse, is _Venus_ dominatrix? art not in love? _Acut_. Yes, I love God and my neighbors. _Grac_. Then either for God's sake or thy Neighbors, or both, be smothe, and participate; ist not some underlayer, some she Cammell, that will beare as much of her belly as three beastes on their backes? some Lanthorne-maker? Ile holde thy head; come, up with't! _Acut_. Prethee, I hate none, but heaven hate me if I be in love with any. _Grac_. Off with these clogs; then break prison and get out of this melancholly Gaole. Harke how the generall noise doth welcome from the _Parthian_ wars; each spirit's jocund, fraught with glee, then wrong not thine with this dull meditation. _Accut_. Oh! how doe they then wrong my meditation! my thoughts are with themselues at a counsell; til with noise, and thou with continuall talke, hast driven them to a _nonplus_.