A Comedy of Masks: A NovelDowson, Ernest Christopher
General
A Comedy of Masks: A Novel
Dowson, Ernest Christopher
Fiction
"It was all a mistake, you know, my being shown in there to-night! I
would never have sought her out myself, being where she is. Oh, I
have my pride! It was the servant's mistake: he took me for a
fitter, no doubt, from one of the big dressmakers. Perhaps there was
one expected, I don't know. But I didn't think of that when I came
in and found her sitting there, so proud and soft. It all came over
me--how badly he had used me, and little Meg there at home, and hard
Death coming on me--and I told her. It seemed quite natural then, as
though I had come for that, just for that and nothing else, though,
Heaven knows, it was never in my mind before. I was sorry
afterwards. Yes, before you came in with _him_ I was sorry. It wasn't
as if I owed her any grudge. How could she have known? She is an
innocent young thing, after all--younger than I ever was--for all
her fine dresses and her grand ladyish way. It was like striking a
bit of a child.... God forgive him," she added half hysterically,
"if he uses her as bad as me!"
Rainham's hand stole to his side, and for a moment he averted his
head. When he turned to her again she was uncertain whether it was
more than a pang of sharp physical pain, such as she well knew
herself, which had so suddenly blanched his lips.
"For pity's sake, girl," he whispered, "be silent."
She considered him for a moment silently in the elusive light, that
matched the mental twilight in which she viewed his mood. His
expression puzzled, evaded her; and she could not have explained the
pity which he aroused.
"I am sorry," she broke out again, moved by an impulse which she did
not comprehend. "You did it for her."
"Oh, for her! What does it matter since it is done? Say that it was
an accident--a folly--that I am sorry too."
"No," said the girl softly; "you are glad."
He shrugged his shoulders with increasing weariness, an immense
desire to have the subject ended and put away with forgotten things.
"I am glad, then. Have it as you like."
But she resumed with a pertinacity which his irritated nerves found
malignant.
"If it was that," she said ambiguously, "you had better have held
your tongue. You had only to gain---- Ah, why did you do it? What
was the good?"
He made another gesture of lassitude; then, rousing himself, he
remarked:
"It was a calculation, then, a piece of simple arithmetic. If it
gives her a little peace a little longer, why should three persons
suffer--be sacrificed--when two might serve?"
"Oh, him!" cried the girl scornfully; "he can't suffer--he hasn't a
heart!"
Rainham looked up at her at last. His fingers ceased playing with
his ring.
"Oh, let me count for a little," he murmured, with a little, ghastly
laugh.
The girl's eyes looked full into his, and in a moment they shone out
of her face, which was suffused with a rosy flush that made her
almost beautiful, with the illumination of some transcendent idea.
"Ah, you _are_ a gentleman!" she cried.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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