A Country Gentleman and His FamilyOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
A Country Gentleman and His Family
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Marriage -- Fiction
Chatty's heart protested against this view: for her part she would have
liked that life which had lasted three weeks to remain as it was, unlike
anything else in her experience, a thing which was over, and could return
no more. Had she not been saying to herself that all that remained to her
was the Afterwards, the long gray twilight upon which no other sun would
rise? In her lack of imagination, the only imagination she had known
became more absolute than any reality, a thing which once left behind
would never be renewed again. She felt a certain scorn of the attempt to
make feeble imitations of it, or even to make up for that light which
never was on sea or shore, by any little artificial illuminations. A
sort of gentle fury, a wild passion of resistance, rose within her at
the thought of making up for it. She did not wish to make up for it: the
blank could not be made less evident whatever any one might do or say.
But all this Chatty shut up in her own heart. She made no reply, but
bent her head more and more over her muslin work, and worked faster and
faster, with the tears collecting, which she never would consent to
shed, hot and salt behind her eyes.
Mrs. Warrender was silent too. She was confounded by the new phase
of feeling, imperfectly revealed to her, and filled with wonder, and
self-reproach, and sympathy. Had she been to blame to leave her child
exposed to an influence which had proved too much for her peace of
mind?--that was the well-worn conventional phrase, and it was the only
one that seemed to answer the occasion, too much for her peace of mind!
The mother, casting stealthy glances at her daughter, so sedulously,
nervously busy, could only grope at a comprehension of what was in
Chatty's mind. She thought it was the uncertainty, the excitement of
suspense, and all that feverish commotion which sometimes arises in a
woman's mind when the romance of her life comes to a sudden pause and
silence follows the constant interchange of words and looks, and the
doubt whether anything more will ever follow, or whether the pause is to
be for ever, turns all the sweeter meditations into a whirl of confusion
and anxiety and shame. A mother is so near that the reflection of her
child's sentiments gets into her mind, but very often with such prismatic
changes, and oblique catchings of the light, that even sympathy goes
wrong. Mrs. Warrender thus caught from Chatty the representation of an
agitated soul in which there was all the sensitive shame of a love
that is given unsought, mingled with a tender indignation against the
offender who perhaps had never meant--But the mother on this point took
a different view, and there rose up in her mind on the moment, a hundred
cheerful, hopeful plans to bring him back and to set all right. Naturally
there was not a word said on the subject, which was far too delicate for
words; but this was how Mrs. Warrender followed, as she believed, with
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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