Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Women -- Social and moral questions -- Fiction
The result of that experiment was remarkable. Two days later she had
thrown the painting aside again. It was a ghastly failure. But only for
a moment did that depress her; the next moment she had seen further. She
was a Genius; she knew it--felt it; she was so sure about it that she
would never have dreamed of arguing about it; she had such thoughts
sometimes.... And Genius could never be suppressed. Very well; the
Eastern canvas was a total failure; she admitted it. Ergo, her Genius
was for something else than painting.
That was all she had wanted to know.
For what, then? No doubt Edgar Strong, who had enlightened her about
herself before, would be able to enlighten her again now. And if he
would not come to see her, she must go and see him. But already she saw
the answer shining brightly ahead. She must pant, not paint; live, not
limn. Her Genius was, after all, for Love.
True, at the thought of those offices in Charing Cross Road she had an
instinctive shrinking. Their shabbiness rather took the shine out of the
voluptuousnesses she had tried, and failed, to get upon her canvas. But
perhaps there was a fitness in that too. Genius, whether in Art or in
Love, is usually poor. If she could be splendid there she could be so
anywhere. No doubt heaps and heaps of grand passions had transfigured
grimy garrets, and had made of them perfectly ripping backgrounds....
So on an afternoon in mid-January Amory put on her new velvet costume of
glaucous sea-holly blue and her new mushroom-white hat, and went down to
the "Novum's" offices in a taxi. It seemed to her that she got there
horribly quickly. Her heart was beating rapidly, and already she had
partly persuaded herself that if Edgar wasn't in it might perhaps be
just as well, as she had half-promised the twins to have tea with them
in the nursery soon, and anyway she could come again next week. Or she
might leave Edgar a note to come up to The Witan. There were familiar
and supporting influences at The Witan. But here she felt dreadfully
defenceless.... She reached her destination. Slowly she passed through
the basement-room with the sandwich-boards, ascended the dark stairs,
and walked along the upper corridor that was hung with the specimens of
poster-art.
Edgar was in. He was sitting at his roll-top desk, with his feet thrust
into the unimaginable litter of papers that covered it. He appeared to
be dozing over the "Times," and had not drunk the cup of tea that stood
at his elbow with a sodden biscuit and a couple of lumps of sugar awash
in the saucer.--Without turning his head he said "Hallo," almost as if
he expected somebody else. "Did you bring me some cigarettes in?" he
added, still not turning. And this was a relief to Amory's thumping
heart. She could begin with a little joke.
"No," she said. "I didn't know you wanted any."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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