French fiction -- Translations into English; Love -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
It was during the period of hard distress subsequent to this rupture
that she had met Hubert Liauran. From the corner of her solitary hearth,
beside which she watched persistently, she could see so very clearly
what the discovery of this tender child's heart had been to her. In an
existence which had comprised nothing but wounding or disgrace--had not
her keenest sorrows been dishonoured beforehand by their cause?--with
what delighted emotion had she measured the purity of this young man's
heart? What anxiety had she felt, and what a dread of not pleasing him!
What a dread, too, knowing that she had pleased him, of being ruined in
his thoughts!
How she had trembled lest one of the cruel talkers of society should
reveal her past to Hubert! How had she employed all her woman's art to
make this love an adorable poem, wherein should be lacking nothing that
might enchant a soul innocent and new to life! How had she enjoyed his
reverence, and how had she allowed it to be prolonged! Ah! when she
thought now of those two days at Folkestone she could scarcely believe
that they had been real, and that she had had the courage to survive
them. She remembered that she had gone with Hubert to the terminus in
spite of every consideration of prudence; she had seen him disappear in
the direction of London, leaning out of the carriage window to watch her
the longer; she had re-entered the rooms which they had both occupied,
before herself taking train for Dover, and there she had spent two hours
in the grievous loneliness of a soul overwhelmed with simultaneous
despair and felicity.
Her soul bent beneath its weight of recollections like a flower
overladen with dew. She had there known a complete union between her two
natures--an almost passionate vibration of her entire being. She had
half forgiven herself the past, excusing herself by saying mentally to
Hubert the words which so many women have said aloud to men jealous of
those bygone days which belonged to others: "I did not know you!"
On their subsequent return to Paris, how carefully and piously had she
set herself, during the spring and summer, to live in such a way as not
to lose his affection for a single minute! She had resumed all the
modesty admitted by love that is complete, but is ennobled by the soul.
She trembled constantly lest her caresses should be a cause of
corruption to this being, so young both in heart and in body, whom she
wished to intoxicate without defiling.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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