French fiction -- Translations into English; Love -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
At last, without any calculation, and by obeying the impulses of her own
heart, she succeeded in finding a means which appeared almost infallible
to her for coming to an explanation. She experienced an irresistible
longing to visit the little abode in the Avenue Friedland, and she told
herself that Hubert would, sooner or later, feel this longing like
herself. Of inevitable necessity she must meet him face to face on one
of these visits. Under the influence of this idea she began to pay long
solitary visits to those ground floor rooms, whose every nook spoke to
her of her lost happiness. The first time that she came there in this
way, the hour which she spent among the furniture, was the occasion of
such intolerable emotion that she was nearly relapsing into the
extravagance of her first despair. She returned, nevertheless, and by
degrees it became strangely sweet to her to accomplish this pilgrimage
of love nearly every day. The doorkeeper lit the fire; she allowed the
flame to illuminate the little drawing-room with a flickering light
which struggled against the invasion of the twilight; she lay down upon
the divan, to experience a sensation at once torturing and delicious, a
blending of expectation, melancholy, and remembrance. Each time she was
careful to first ask:
"Has the gentleman been here?" and the negative reply would give her the
hope that chance might cause the young man's visit to coincide with her
own.
She noticed, with beating heart, the slightest noise. All the objects
around her which were not coloured by the blaze from the fireplace, were
drowned in the shadow. The apartment was scented with the exhalations
from the flowers, the cups and vases of which she used herself to trim,
and she alternately dreaded and desired the entry of Hubert. Would he
forgive her? Would he repel her? And finally she had to leave this
refuge of her last hope, and she departed, her veil drawn down, her soul
flooded by the same sadness that she used formerly to feel when Hubert's
kisses were still fresh on her lips, at once comforted and terrified by
this thought:
"When shall I see him again? Will it be to-morrow?"
One afternoon when stretched thus upon the divan and absorbed in her
dreams, she seemed to hear the turning of a key in the lock of the outer
door. She sat up suddenly with a wild throbbing of heart. Yes, the door
was opening and closing. A step sounded in the ante-room. A hand was
opening the second door. She fell back again upon the cushions of the
divan, unable to endure the approach of what she had so greatly hoped
for, and thus finding, through her very sincerity, the vanquished
attitude which the most refined coquetry would have chosen and which was
calculated to work most powerfully upon her lover,--if it were he. But
what other could come, and did she not immediately recognise his step?
Yes, it was indeed Hubert who was just coming in.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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