book, or pause to reflect on that still unexplained mystery, which was
the very center and core of the whole mater, namely, the existence of
the father and mother in the house, from whose union the family was
renewed, and who, fruitful themselves, were yet the parents of a barren
race. Nor did I ask who their successors would be: for albeit
long-lived, they were mortal like their own passionless children, and in
this particular house their lives appeared now to be drawing to an end.
These were questions I cared nothing about. It was enough to know that
Yoletta could never love me as I loved her--that she could never be
mine, body and soul, in my way and not in hers. With unspeakable
bitterness I recalled my conversation with Chastel: now all her
professions of affection and goodwill, all her schemes for smoothing my
way and securing my happiness, seemed to me the veriest mockery, since
even she had read my heart no better than the others, and that chill
moonlight felicity, beyond which her children were powerless to imagine
anything, had no charm for my passion-torn heart.
Presently, when I began to recover somewhat from my stupefaction, and to
realize the magnitude of my loss, the misery of it almost drove me mad.
I wished that I had never made this fatal discovery, that I might have
continued still hoping and dreaming, and wearing out my heart with
striving after the impossible, since any fate would have been preferable
to the blank desolation which now confronted me. I even wished to
possess the power of some implacable god or demon, that I might shatter
the sacred houses of this later race, and destroy them everlastingly,
and repeople the peaceful world with struggling, starving millions, as
in the past, so that the beautiful flower of love which had withered in
men's hearts might blossom again.
While these insane thoughts were passing through my brain I had risen
from my seat, and stood leaning against the edge of the alcove, with
that curious richly-colored bottle close to my eyes. There were letters
on it, noticed now for the first time--minute, hair-like lines beneath
the strange-contrasted processionists depicted on the band--and even in
my excited condition I was a little startled when these letters, forming
the end of a sentence, shaped themselves into the words--_and for the
old life there shall be a new life_.
Turning the bottle round I read the whole sentence. _When time and
disease oppress, and the sun grows cold in heaven, and there is no
longer any joy on the earth, and the fire of love grows cold in the
heart, drink of me, and for the old life there shall be a new life._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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