As it happened, he just missed it; but it was Maggie's own fault. If she
had trusted it to the Drumloch mail-bag and servant it would have reached
Dalry on the twenty-ninth; and on that day Willie Johnson was in the
post-village, and received several letters lying there for himself and
others in Pittenloch. But when, in our anxiety, we trust to our own
judgment, instead of to that something which, for lack of a better name,
we call good fortune, we are usually, and perhaps justly, deserted by good
fortune. Maggie feared the footman would shirk her solitary letter, and
perhaps keep it until his regular visit to the post the following day; so
she gave it to the doctor, earnestly asking him to post it as he passed
through the town. And the doctor fully intended to do so, but he was met
by an urgent call for help; he forgot it then; he did not pass near the
post-office for two days, and the two days might as well have been two
months, for it was fully that time before Willie Johnson received his next
letters.
Mary was exceedingly ill on the twenty-ninth. Her soul had reached the
very border-land of being. In the dim, still room she lay, painfully
breathing, faintly murmuring words unintelligible and very far away. But
as Maggie sat motionless beside her, sometimes hopelessly watching,
sometimes softly praying, she could not help thinking of the beach at
Pittenloch, of the fresh salt air, and the sea coming in with the wind,
and the motion and sparkle and sunshine, and the tall, handsome man she
loved looking with sorrowful longing for her. And though she never grudged
Mary one moment of the joy she was sacrificing, yet her tears dropped upon
the clay-like hands she clasped in her own; for human love and human hopes
are very sweet, never perhaps more sweet than in the very hour in which we
yield them up to some noble duty, or some cruel fatality.
And Maggie mourned most of all, because Allan would think her faithless;
would judge her from the wicked, envious tongues that had driven her from
her home; and it is always the drop of injustice in sorrow that makes
sorrow intolerable. Only, Maggie trusted! In spite of many a moment's fear
and doubt she trusted! Trusted God, and trusted Allan, and trusted that
somehow out of sorrow would come joy; and as she stepped softly about her
loving cares, or watched, almost breathlessly, Mary passing Death's
haggard hills, she often whispered to herself part of a little poem they
had learned together:
"I will try to hope and to trust in God!
In the excellent Glory His abode
Hath been from of old; thence looketh He,
And surely He cannot help seeing me.
And I think perhaps He thinks of me;
For my heart is with Him continually."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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