He certainly grieved for Maggie; but oh! how bitterly he felt the wrong
she had done him. For her own indulgence, how she would curtail and cramp
all his future college course! He had hitherto dressed well, and been able
to buy easily all the books he needed. For the future he would have to
rely upon his own exertions; for his first decision had been to pay back
the money he had taken from Allan's fund, and make the proceeds of his
teaching defray his class fees. When he had done this, he had only £8
left, out of the £50 which his father had left accumulated; but he was to
receive £25 from Prof. Laird for his two months' services, and with this
£33, and the stray teaching he would certainly find to do, he really had
no fear of pushing his way through the next year. But yet he felt keenly
the bondage to care and necessity which Maggie's selfishness had put him
under. He never thought of blaming himself. It did not occur to him that
she had rights as sacred as his own. "The cruelty of her! The cruelty of
her!" he kept saying, as he moodily paced his little room. He did not
remember his own indifference, nor reflect that a trifle of kindness, even
the small favor of a-weekly visit, would have kept the girl contentedly
under his own eye.
But David had marked out his course, and he was not the man to permit any
woman to seriously interfere with his plans. He put down with a mighty
will his grief and disappointment, and shame, and went off to the Hebrides
with his pupil. But in spite of himself, Maggie went with him. He was
compelled to be very economical, and he could not quite get rid of
anxiety, and of planning for the future, which the change in his money
affairs forced upon him. And it was all Maggie's fault. "Her weakness,
her craving 'to be made of,' and to be happy, her inability to bear a
little feminine gossip, her longing after the companionship of himself
--or another." Maggie, after all, spoiled the trip to which he had looked
forward for half a year with longing and delight.
When he returned to the Candleriggs, the first thing he saw was a letter
from Maggie. It had been lying upon his table for some weeks. In fact
Maggie had written it soon after her removal to Drumloch, but she did not
wish to post it from so small a place, and she therefore waited until her
first visit to Glasgow, which occurred early in August. She had remembered
the time when it was possible that David might go to Pittenloch, and she
feared that he would be very miserable when he found out that she had
never returned to Kinkell. Without revealing her own location or
circumstances, she wished to satisfy him as far as possible of her
innocence and welfare; so she had thus written--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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