The opportunity came shortly, when St. Vincent, with Frona opposite,
swept in the full thirteen tricks.
"A rampse!" Matt cried. "Vincent, me lad, a rampse! Yer hand on it,
me brave!"
It was a stout grip, neither warm nor clammy, but Matt shook his head
dubiously. "What's the good iv botherin'?" he muttered to himself as
he shuffled the cards for the next deal. "Ye old fool! Find out first
how Frona darlin' stands, an' if it's pat she is, thin 'tis time for
doin'."
"Oh, McCarthy's all hunky," Dave Harney assured them later on, coming
to the rescue of St. Vincent, who was getting the rough side of the
Irishman's wit. The evening was over and the company was putting on
its wraps and mittens. "Didn't tell you 'bout his visit to the
cathedral, did he, when he was on the Outside? Well, it was suthin'
like this, ez he was explainin' it to me. He went to the cathedral
durin' service, an' took in the priests and choir-boys in their
surplices,--_parkas_, he called 'em,--an' watched the burnin' of the
holy incense. 'An' do ye know, Dave, he sez to me, 'they got in an'
made a smudge, and there wa'n't a darned mosquito in sight.'"
"True, ivery word iv it." Matt unblushingly fathered Harney's yarn.
"An' did ye niver hear tell iv the time Dave an' me got drunk on
condensed milk?"
"Oh! Horrors!" cried Mrs. Schoville. "But how? Do tell us."
"'Twas durin' the time iv the candle famine at Forty Mile. Cold snap
on, an' Dave slides into me shack to pass the time o' day, and glues
his eyes on me case iv condensed milk. 'How'd ye like a sip iv Moran's
good whiskey?' he sez, eyin' the case iv milk the while. I confiss me
mouth went wet at the naked thought iv it. 'But what's the use iv
likin'?' sez I, with me sack bulgin' with emptiness.' 'Candles worth
tin dollars the dozen,' sez he, 'a dollar apiece. Will ye give six
cans iv milk for a bottle iv the old stuff?' 'How'll ye do it?' sez I.
'Trust me,' sez he. 'Give me the cans. 'Tis cold out iv doors, an'
I've a pair iv candle-moulds.'
"An' it's the sacred truth I'm tellin' ye all, an' if ye run across
Bill Moran he'll back me word; for what does Dave Harney do but lug off
me six cans, freeze the milk into his candle-moulds, an' trade them in
to bill Moran for a bottle iv tanglefoot!"
As soon as he could be heard through the laughter, Harney raised his
voice. "It's true, as McCarthy tells, but he's only told you the half.
Can't you guess the rest, Matt?"
Matt shook his head.
"Bein' short on milk myself, an' not over much sugar, I doctored three
of your cans with water, which went to make the candles. An' by the
bye, I had milk in my coffee for a month to come."
"It's on me, Dave," McCarthy admitted. "'Tis only that yer me host, or
I'd be shockin' the ladies with yer nortorious disgraces. But I'll
lave ye live this time, Dave. Come, spade the partin' guests; we must
be movin'."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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