With her eyes fixed on the threatening and advancing cloud as if
fascinated by it, she continued in the same tone, that was full of
indescribable dread: "Yes, yes, I never realized it so fully before,
and yet I have lain awake whole nights, going, by an awful necessity,
over every scene of that terrible day. He stood in his place in the
line of battle on an open plain, and he watched battery after battery
come down from the heights above and open fire. He stood there till he
was slain, looking steadily at death. This cloud that is coming makes
me understand the more awful storm of war that he faced. Oh, I wish
this hadn't happened," and there was almost agony in her tone. "I'm not
brave as he was, and every nearer peal of thunder shakes my very soul."
Mr. Yocomb put his hand tenderly on her shoulder as he said:
"My dear, foolish little child--as if thy Father in heaven would hurt
thee!"
"Miss Warren," I said earnestly, "I have too little of Mr. and Mrs.
Yocomb's faith; but it seems impossible that anything coming from
heaven could harm you."
She drew closer to Mr. Yocomb's side, but still looked at the cloud
with the same wide-eyed dread, as if spellbound by it.
"To me," she resumed in her former tone, that only became more hurried
and full of fear as the tempest approached, "these awful storms are no
part of heaven. They are wholly of earth, and seem the counterparts of
those wild outbreaks of human passion from which I and so many poor
women in the past have suffered;" and a low sob shook her frame. "I
wish I had more of good Mr. Yocomb's spirit; for this appalling cloud
seems to me the very incarnation of evil. Why _does_ God permit such
things?"
With a front as calm and serene as that of any ancient prophet could
have been, Mr. Yocomb began repeating the sublime words, "The voice of
Thy thunder was in the heavens; the lightnings lightened the world."
"Oh, no, no!" cried the trembling girl, "the God I worship is not in
the storm nor in the fire, but in the still small voice of love. You
may think me very weak to be so moved, but truly I cannot help it. My
whole nature shrinks from this." I took her hand as I said warmly, "I
do understand you, Miss Warren. Unconsciously you have fully explained
your mood and feeling. It's in truth your nature, your sensitive,
delicate organism, that shrinks from this wild tumult that is coming.
In the higher moral tests of courage, when the strongest man might
falter and fail, you would be quietly steadfast."
She gave my hand a quick, strong pressure, and then withdrew it as she
said, "I hope you are right; you interpret me so generously that I hope
I may some day prove you right."
"I need no proof. I saw your very self in the garden."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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