In all this there was a dignified civility, not at all like the
impertinent freedom of his manner in the morning. He never, besides,
addressed me as Mr. Paynter; in fact, he did not advert to a name at
all, not giving me the slightest pretext for that reprisal I had come so
charged with; and, as to opening the campaign myself, I 'd as soon have
commenced acquaintance with a tiger by a pull at his tail. We were now
alone; the servants had retired, and there we sat, silently smoking our
cigars in apparent ease, but one of us, at least, in a frame of mind the
very opposite to tranquillity.
What a rush and conflict of thought was in my head! Why had not _she_
dined with us? Was her position such as that the presence of a stranger
became an embarrassment? Good heaven! was I to suppose this, that,
and the other? What was there in this man that so imposed on me, that
when I wanted to speak I only could sigh, and that I felt his presence
like some overpowering spell? It was that calm, self-contained, quiet
manner--cold rather than austere, courteous without cordiality--that
chilled me to the very marrow of my bones. Lecture _him_ on the private
moralities of his life! ask _him_ to render me an account of his
actions! address _him_ as Bluebottle!--
“With such tobacco as that, one can drink Bordeaux,” said he. “Help
yourself.”
And I did help myself,--freely, repeatedly. I drank for courage, as a
man might drink from thirst or fever, or for strength in a moment
of fainting debility. The wine was exquisite, and my heart beat more
forcibly, and I felt it.
I cannot follow very connectedly the course of events; I neither
know how the conversation glided into politics, nor what I said on
that subject. As to the steps by which I succeeded in obtaining his
Excellency's confidence, I know as little as a man does of the precise
moment in which he is wet through in a Scotch mist. I have a dim memory
of talking in a very dictatorial voice, and continually referring to
my “entrance into public life,” with reference to what Peel “said,” and
what the Duke “told me.”
“What's the use of writing home?” said his Excellency, in a desponding
voice. “For the last five years I have called attention to what is going
on here; nobody minds, nobody heeds it. Open any blue-book you like, and
will you find one solitary despatch from Hesse-Kalbbratonstadt?”
“I cannot call one to mind.”
“Of course you can't. Would you believe it, when the Zeringer party
went out, and the Schlaffdorfers came in, I was rebuked--actually
rebuked--for sending off a special messenger with the news? And then
came out a despatch in cipher, which being interpreted contained this
stupid doggerel:--
“'Strange that men difference should be
Twixt Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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