Mr poor companions had but a sorry time of it on that morning. I was in
a fearful temper, and made no effort to control it. The little romance
of my meeting with these creatures was beginning to scale off, and,
there beneath, lay the vulgar metal of their natures exposed to view.
As for old Vaterchen, shuffling along in his tattered shoes, half-stupid
with wine and shame together, I could n't bear to look at him; while
Tintefleck, although at the outset abashed by my rebukeful tone and
cold manner, had now rallied, and seemed well disposed to assert her
own against all comers. Yes, there' was a palpable air of defiance about
her, even to the way that she sang as she went along; every thrill and
cadence seemed to say, “I 'm doing this to amuse myself; never imagine
that I care whether you are pleased or not.” Indeed, she left me no
means of avoiding this conclusion, since at every time that I turned on
her a look of anger or displeasure, her reply was to sing the louder.
“And it was only yesterday,” thought I, “and I dreamed that I could be
in love with this creature,--dreamed that I could replace Kate Herbert's
image in my heart with that coarse travesty of woman's gentleness. Why,
I might as well hope to make a gentleman of old Vaterchen, and present
him to the world as a man of station and eminence.”
What an insane hope was this! As well might I shiver a fragment from a
stone on the road-side, and think to give it value by having it set as a
ring. The caprice of keeping them company for a day might be pardonable.
It was the whim of one who is, above all, a student of mankind. But why
continue the companionship? A little more of such intimacy, and who
is to say what I may not imbibe of their habits and their natures; and
Potts, the man of sentiment, the child of impulse, romance, and poetry,
become a slave of the “Ring,” a saltimbanque! Now, though I could
implicitly rely upon the rigidity of my joints to prevent the
possibility of my ever displaying any feats of agility, I could yet
picture myself in a long-tailed blue coat and jack-boots walking round
and round in the sawdust circle, with four or five other creatures of
the same sort, and who have no consciousness of any function till they
are made the butt of some extempore drollery by the clown.
The creative temperament has this great disadvantage, that one cannot
always build castles, but must occasionally construct hovels, and
sometimes even dungeons and jails; and here was I now, with a large
contract order for this species of edifice, and certainly £ set to work
with a will. The impatience of my mind communicated itself to my gait,
and I walked along at a tremendous rate.
“I can scarcely keep up with you at this pace,” said Tintefleck; “and
see, we have left poor Vaterchen a long way behind.”
I made some rude answer,--I know not what,--and told her to come on.
“I will not leave him,” said she, coming to a halt, and standing in a
composed and firm attitude before me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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