“To-morrow will do, then,” said I easily; and not venturing upon an
inquiry as to the means by which my room was at my disposal, I took my
candle and mounted the stairs.
As I lay down in my bed, I resolved I would take a calm survey of my
past life: what I had done, what I had failed to do, what were the guiding
principles which directed me, and whither they were likely to bear me.
But scarcely had I administered to myself the preliminary oath to tell
nothing but the truth, than I fell off sound asleep.
My first waking thought the next morning was to inquire if two persons
had arrived in search of me--an elderly man and a young woman. I
described them. None such had been seen. “They will have sought shelter
in some of the humbler inns,” thought I; “I'll up and look after
them.” I searched the town from end to end; I visited the meanest
halting-places of the wayfarer; I inquired at the police bureaus--at
the gate--but none had arrived who bore any resemblance to those I asked
after. I was vexed--only vexed at first--but gradually I found myself
growing distrustful. The suspicion that the ice is not strong enough for
your weight, and then, close upon that, the shock of fear that strikes
you when the loud crash of a fracture breaks on the ear, are mere
symbols of what one suffers at the first glimmering of a betrayal. I
repelled the thought with indignation; but certain thoughts there are
which, when turned out, stand like sturdy duns at the gate, and will
not be sent away. This was one of them. It followed me wherever I
went, importunately begging for a hearing, and menacing me with sad
consequences if I were obdurate enough to listen. “You are a simpleton,
Potts, a weak, foolish, erring creature! and you select as the objects
of your confidence those whose lives of accident present exactly as the
most irresistible of all temptations to them--the Dupe! How they must
have laughed--how they must yet be laughing at you! How that old drunken
fox will chuckle over your simplicity, and the minx Tintefleck indulge
herself in caricatures of your figure and face! I wonder how much of
truth there was in that old fellow's story? Was he ever the syndic of
his village, or was the whole narrative a mere fiction like--like--” I
covered my face with my hands in shame as I muttered out, “like one of
your own, Potts?”
I was very miserable, for I could no longer stand proudly forward as the
prosecutor, but was obliged to steal ignominiously into the dock and
take my place beside the other prisoners. What became of all my honest
indignation as I bethought me, that I, of all men, could never arraign
the counterfeit and the sham?
“Let them go, then,” cried I, “and prosper if they can; I will never
pursue them. I will even try and remember what pleased and interested me
in their fortunes, and, if it may be, forget that they have carried away
my little all of wealth.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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