It is needless to say how much I appeared to fulfil the signs they
sought for, not to add that the intemperance of my language, when
captured, was in itself sufficient to establish a grave charge against
me. It is true, there was in the act of allegation a lengthened
description of me, with which my own appearance but ill corresponded.
I was described as of middle age, of a strong frame and muscular habit,
and with an expression that denoted energy and fierceness. How much of
that vigor must they imagine had been washed away by the torrent, to
leave me the poor helpless-looking thing I now appeared!
I know it is a very weak confession,--I feel as I make it how damaging
to my character is the acknowledgment, and how seriously I compromise
myself in my reader's estimation; but I cannot help owning that I felt
very proud to be thought so wicked, to be classed with those Brutuses of
modern history, who were scattering explosive shells like bonbons, and
throwing grenades broadcast like “confetti” in a carnival. I fancied how
that miserable Staats Procurator must have trembled in his inmost heart
as he sat there in close proximity with such an infuriate desperado as I
was. I hoped that every look, every gesture, every word of mine, struck
terror into his abject soul. It must also unquestionably do them good,
these besotted, self-satisfied, narrow-minded Germans, to learn how an
Englishman, a born Briton, regards their miserable system of government,
and that poor and meagre phantasm they call their “civilization.” Well,
they have had their opportunity now, and I hope they will make much of
it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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