Had these words been actually addressed to me by a living individual, I
could not have heard them more plainly than now they fell upon my ear,
uttered, besides, in a tone of cutting, sarcastic derision. “I will
stand this no longer!” cried I, springing up from my seat and flinging
my cigar angrily away. “I 'm certain no man ever accomplished any high
and great destiny in life who suffered himself to be bullied in this
wise; such irritating, pestering impertinence would destroy the temper
of a saint, and break down the courage and damp the ardor of the
boldest. Could great measures of statecraft be carried out--could
battles be won--could new continents be discovered, if at every
strait and every emergency one was to be interrupted by a low voice,
whispering, 'Is this _all_ right? Are there no flaws here? You live in a
world of frailties, Potts. You are playing at a round game, where every
one cheats a little, and where the Drogueries are never remembered
against him who wins. Bear that in your mind, and keep your cards
“up.”'”
When I was about to take my ticket, a dictum of the great moralist
struck my mind: “Desultory reading has slain its thousands and tens
of thousands;” and if desultory reading, why not infinitely more so
desultory acquaintance? Surely, our readings do not impress us as
powerfully as the actual intercourse of life. It must be so. It is
in this daily conflict with our fellow-men that we are moulded and
fashioned; and the danger is, to commingle and confuse the impressions
made upon our hearts, to cross the writing on our natures so often that
nothing remains legible! “I will guard against this peril,” thought I.
“I will concentrate my intentions and travel alone.” I slipped a crown
into a guard's hand, and whispered, “Put no one in here if you can help
it” As I jogged along, all by myself, I could not help feeling that one
of the highest privileges of wealth must be to be able always to buy
solitude,--to be in a position to say, “None shall invade me. The
world must contrive to go round without a kick from _me_. I am a
self-contained and self-suffering creature.” If I were Rothschild, I 'd
revel in this sentiment; it places one so immeasurably above that busy
ant-hill where one sees the creatures hurrying, hastening, and
fagging “till their hearts are broken.” One feels himself a superior
intelligence,--a being above the wants and cares of the work-a-day world
around him.
“Any room here?” cried a merry voice, breaking in upon my musing; and
at the same instant a young fellow, in a gray travelling-suit and
a wideawake, flung a dressing-bag and a wrapper carelessly into the
carriage, and so recklessly as to come tumbling over me. He never
thought of apology, however, but continued his remarks to the guard, who
was evidently endeavoring to induce him to take a place elsewhere. “No,
no!” cried the young man; “I'm all right here, and the cove with the
yellow hair won't object to my smoking.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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